see? That's exactly what I mean about you heterocentric cavemen! Using
the female form to sell any product whatsoever, under the Sun and Even
Elsewhere. This is a perverted way to think of Our Fairer Sex (whether
straight or queer), 51% of our species Homo Sapiens...that is: The
Not-So-Silent-Anymore Majority! These ads encourage a most ugly image
of all women--every single female on the planet including generations
as yet unborn--as whores, prostitutes for Amerikan Kapitalistic Dogma.
just look at that floozy advertisement: which a few frames I managed to
grab off the Maximumedge (webmail) logout page. The actual ad is
probably 10 or more different frames. (I first attempted to download it
with the usual r-click, but alas it failed.)
Here we have your
stereotype blonde bimbo, flashing her breasts up and down in a most
voluptuous manner, while a dirty old man's hand grabs hopefully at the
Treasure Chest. The heart icon itself is simply a distraction to trick
you into perceiving the ad as "innocent". Or, more than likely, to give
you the perfect excuse should you be questioned as to why you were
smiling at the Cyber Siren. And should anyone really challenge you, you'd simply say: "Oh you're making too much of this!"
gives it away for me, is that hand. Not a young man's hand by any
means. Nope, it's not even a hand possessing flesh. It is the hand of a
skeleton. It may even be the hand of the Grim Reaper Himself! (Probably
isn't, but it may as well be, when one considers the karmic
implications of this bitty bawdy babolicious blinking booby banner.
Someone must have sold his soul to come up with such an ad. Indeed!
They're a penny a dozen.)
But is this not morally corrupt to
regard any human being as solely (or most importantly) as a sex object?
It would seem such objectification in a hard-core commercialized
society (as Amerika has become), gives major influence towards male
inspiration to intimidate, terrorize, bash, and rape, Our Better Half,
The Feminine Majority.
This is beyond bad taste. This is brutal.
This is my gift for the New Year: My Salute To Women's Suffrage and Lesbian Pride.
(Click on the misogynistic animation above to go to a much better place.)
Pplz: I just e-mailed the following application to write for a local
LGBT newspaper. In their latest issue (last Thursday) they had a short
article on page 3, advertising for new columnists and reporters. This
was in the same edition, mind you, where they also printed my letter to
the editor, "Gay Marriage By Any Other Name". Opportunity knocks, eh?
Subject: I Wanna Be A Writer For The Best Queer Newspaper This Side Of Anti-Matter! Date: December 23, 2004
applying to your newspaper, the SF Bay Times, to be a regular or
occasional queer columnist. I'm a veteran of the Gay Rights movement,
having been an activist since 1973, which also marks my arrival to Gay
Mecca. Being I'm the underground counter-culture type--the real McCoy
in fact--means you've likely not heard of me, since I evade the news as
much as the news evades me. But I've been a powerful, if gentle and
mostly-invisible, force here in The Castro since at least 1983.
the last seven years, the Internet has gained most of my creative
attentions, which you may see for yourself by visiting my fantabulous
home page includes the same essay your paper just published last
Thursday as a letter to the editor (pg. 12), entitled: "Gay Marriage By
Any Other Name". But after I sent it, I ran through it once more to
achieve a final polish. You will find it at the end of this message,
with this special treat: some added e-mail conversation with a
heterosexual Howard-Dean activist! (Or is it Dean-Howard? Deze guys wid two foyst names drive me up-a-wall! Jeez!)
Otherwise, examples of my writing can be found on my home page, under
section "13 Letters From 13 Angels". These compose my most recent or
best pieces. Two more places on my site that feature my writings are:
will find a punctuational peculiarity to all my pieces: I enclose quote
marks within punctuation, and not the other way around. But I assure
you, do not quiver: I am ready to go the conventional grammatical route
in order to spare proofreaders any needless misery. I've worked on
newspapers in my salad days, through high school and college
(1964-1972). I'm presently 54 yrs. of age, if you must know.
am timely; I'm unique; I'm original. I'm a thought provoking,
shit-stirring, rabble-rousing one-man package of QUEER
My current writing is featured on my
"zekeblog" these days. This should give you an idea of the types of
articles I enjoy writing: rather eclectic yet still very much the
outlaw. I don't do leather, I don't do drag, I don't do Castro. I
don't club, I don't booze it up...and yet I've been one of the most
devoted, courageous and underrated Gay Activists to ever exist (can you say "Curse Of Cassandra?"). Essentially, I'm a philosopher and sociologist on Sexual Minorities And Subcultural Manifestation, through my own observations and studies...having been grounded in the School of Anthropology
at the University of Missouri (Columbia). Many of my pieces (both
written and spoken) teach the spiritual wisdom I've gained as a gay
male, through a witty filter. Topics can range from the immediately
it's about time I have my own column, don't you think? I already have a
name for it: "gay-bible.org" (in a fat font). But since I'd sell my
mother's own soul for a column, I won't obsess over the title or other
trivial concerns (such as moolah or Mary Jane). In fact, I've just completed my first article for your sterling newspaper! Wanna see it? Just ask!
might also like to know that I do queer storytelling and comedy at
3-Dollar Bill Cafe mainly, when they have open-mic. I also do Magnet
and am looking around for more 5-minute "quickies" outside of the
Castro. So you might realize I have other talents to rely on (should
you foolishly turn me down) hear some of my recorded skits at the
and I've been running for First Gay US President, since Y2K. If you
visit the Astral Plane often, you already know this. But just in case
you don't (and I mean nothing personal by this) read my platform here:
needs polishing...but isn't that where the rest of Our Queer Family
steps in? And don't you just LOVE being the first LGBT newspaper (hell:
the FIRST newspaper ever, and that includes the hetero mainstream) to
spread the Good News?
Sleep on it. And if you can't sleep, call me: 666-6666.
Ezekiel J. Krahlin
-- Jehovah's Queer Witness (Zeke Krahlin) - Shamanic Story Teller & Trickster "Accepts blow jobs by loyal fans...for me to poop on!" -Tryoomph gay-bible.org
you again, SF Bay Times! If you don't really want me, I understand. You
can still look forward to my letters to the editor...however I'm afraid
they'll show up in the mail batch like doves with broken wings, through
no fault of my own, since I'm blameless. :b
Man's philosophies are now duking it out in the Noosphere...for we all know by now, that any idea that does not get included, is an idea lost forever. It is, in a sense, the erasure of most of the Akashic Record, in order to start "anew". Or as Xians might call it: "born again"...only this time on a cosmic level, as well. Is this fair? Should past knowledge be completely removed FOREVER, as the price to pay for a new life...for immortality, even? Think about it: would you exchange most of your past memories in order to live an immortal life of joy and adventure? (Oh why do I think of that phrase, "Ignorance is bliss" right at this moment?)
It is a similar quandary to Shakespeare's most infamous phrase: "To be or not to be". For if one sacrifices enough of one's memory, does that not qualify as secession of consciousness...at which point, ressurection would be the equivalent of a totally new--thus different (thus not "you" any more)--sentient being?
It is perhaps good at this moment, to tell Tom Cahill how much I appreciate his comparing me to The Hundredth Monkey, regarding my call to Randolph. I've always held onto that most happy of all presents: The Gift Of Optimism! Believe me when I say there's plenty of space in my intellectual attic of most positively influential people in my life. You are of course, one such person, and--though part of a very tiny clique--are a jewel in This Crown Of Wisdom I humbly adorn. Now, don't let your ego step in the way with such silly questions like, "Diamond or emerald? Sapphire or glass? How many facets? Is this Elf Magicke?" It is time to let go of them, Thomas...let go and chug down a glass of Mendocino goat milk (which you can afford to buy a quart of, twice or thrice per month; and would be very beneficial in damp weather).
For you have ARRIVED!
"Where?" you might ponder, "Where HAVE I actually arrived, Zeke" And I shall respond (not without a hint of sadism adding a delicate trill to my voice):
"Aha! That is not my department. I have no idea, either, but I don't obsess over it, honey. Let's just make the best of this plastic art we call Life, and see who becomes a True Sculptor!"
So my personal dreams are met, as are yours...and of course those who all have this or that aspect of World Peace in common. So not only will I sculpt Randolph's return to my side, but great victories for all Good Folks everywhere, leading to a world of utter respect, harmony, joy, adventure, and gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay SEX! Yes, I know Heaven's Sexual Mansion won't suit MANY who've earned it, but gee...this is how a Queer Reality Hacker (a "Quacktivist") such as "moi" has a little fun on the job.
So our jobs are done, good buddy! All we need to keep doing is learning bit by bit how to destress off this PTSD. Just learn to relax a little more each day. It is all too easy to forget that sometimes--just sometimes, if you're real lucky--an easy answer IS the best answer. While modern life is indeed complex, this still does not mean that ALL truths must now be complex. But is it true this time? Ahhh, always something for this Lone Elf to worry on! We are the bedraggled veterans of a long, long war; only now coming off the battlefield for some badly-needed triage.
We are the first! We are the vanguards! We stood up to Evil long before anyone else did, or even realized it for what it was! (And it's name is "Hompohobia: Author Of All Wars And Man's Inhumanity To Man".) And that shall NOT be forgotten by humanity, ever...in fact, it will be CELEBRATED EVERY YEAR...from December 30th to January 16th (the former date being Randolph Taylor's birthday, the latter being the day he shot himself in 1985, and survived).
Yes, Tom, we simply need to kick back and savor the vision of our labors bearing fruit. For you, and for all admirers of Randolph Taylor and others like him, this Yuletide poem:
Please God, don't let Christmas come Without my Randolph Taylor. My quest is still a painful one: Adrift at sea, a lonesome sailor.
I can't believe that he is dead, His soul bound to the quilt. (Oh can't this be another man, Same name, in glitter gilt?)
How many years I've walked this path Of love's devotion on the cross, Only to echo The Devil's laugh: "You lost, you lost, you lost!"
I pray, I guess, for miracles, Each breath a sacred wish: My heart a candle in the dark, Or in the deep blue ocean, a single golden fish!
"Please help me stop the dying," was Randolph's tender plea, Scrolled across a letter: the first he sent to me. But now my sadness falls like rain, And drowns my joy like a broken toy. I cannot bear this pain.
I cannot bear not knowing How you, dear Randolph, are. (My heart forever glowing, whether near or far For a man who gave me everything And set my course to a star!)
Without you, my dear Randolph, I have no way to steer. The waves are crashing 'gainst the prow; The clouds are tumbling near!
I yearn for you my chipmunk, My little piece of Heaven. If my soul were a loaf of bread, Your kiss would be the leaven.
Quilt display in San Francisco's City Hall, November 1992 (Honoring S.F. police who died of AIDS.)
you for the Christmas Card and the $20 (which I'm using to have a
couple nice dinners out; so thanks very much)! Enclosed is the
perfected essay, "Gay Marriage By Any Other Name", which I consider
will become a most important document. It encourages secession as a
final measure to disassociate one's people from our present Republican
government (assuming our demands will be denied; and if denied it then
becomes interpreted as a declaration of war; in this case civil war).
I have added a juicy followup to my remarkable essay, that you'll enjoy
so much more, the implications of rejecting my proposal by the Howard
Dean gang of pseudo-liberals, who now call themselves "Democracy for
America". Well, as I see it, Prez Bush and henchmen have gone
absolutely bonkers/berzerk and are the living ghosts of Hitler et al!
But what has become of this, this THING to which we still attach the
title "Democratic Party"?
We must have non-partisan organizing
with gay marriage equality the central impetus. As long as each
political cell forms with gay marriage at its center, then the cell
will thrive...and be a successful link in the underground network of
today's Allied Queer Resistance. If on the other hand they do not give
core respect to gay marriage, those cells will quickly corrupt and die
off. But let it be known that a successful cell can nonetheless choose
to disband at any moment, even without any apparant threat the reason.
There is a failsafe routine built into this proposal, which makes it
impossible to be used as a weapon to turn against us...and any
homophobe who tries, shall be sorely grieving.
Many who voted
Republican are coming to regret their choice: truly an American Tragedy
in the making! But it is certainly not too late for former
Bush-supporters to join our counter-revolution to usurp this most
dangerous despot who stole not just one, but TWO presidential
elections! And if you think allowing homosexuals to be persecuted will
distract the lizards from coming to get YOU and YOUR FAMILY next,
you're in for a VERY RUDE awakening. As long as any person or group
devotes him or itself to defending gay marriage, they will remain
protected from persecution by these Overlords of Satan. But the moment
one plays the anti-queer shtick in any way, shape or form, Gestapo War
Dogs will sniff you out IMMEDIATELY, and you shall be ravaged in their
For we have both Evil and Justice working together
for a change. And whatsoever you do to a gay person shall also be done
unto you. And this includes not ever addressing the issue, nor thinking
about the issue, nor speaking about the issue, nor contributing to the
issue with money and volunteering.While gays are perceived for a while
longer as the hapless scapegoat for HeteroAmerican Society, many will
gloat in perverted satisfaction, believing homosexuals to be dead meat
(or living experimental subjects for the betterment of Das Homeland.
Heil Amerika, thou terrifier and murderer of your sexual minorities! Come and get us if you can, for we have a trick up our sleeve, that you'll never guess!)
anyone who is against gay marriage...that is the mark of a Nazi (as is
the wearing of a Christian icon such as a cross or fish). Don't accept
anything less, such as "civil union"...that's just a trap. If you have
any gay friends in your neighborhood (especially ones that are home
owners), don't be surprised if they've suddenly been
"disappeared"...and their homes and property given to the service of
Das Homeland. That is the Nazis working covertly, while redneck Amerika
looks the other way. If you can help your gay friends go underground,
then by all means do so! But remember that harboring a queer is just as
risky as was harboring a Jew, in the last Holocaust. So be cleaver as a
whip...which you shall be, as long as you have the good sense to care
about gay people. That is the secret...a secret which one could never
Date: Thu, 09 Dec 2004 09:42:40 -0800 From: Wont Western To: email@example.com, 4democracystephanie@yahoo .com, firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: Re: Here's my first draft (Zeke)
Thanks for sending that along. While personally I agree with some of what you wrote, unfortunately, it needs considerable editing before I would consider sending it to the press on behalf of the organization.
First and foremost, San Francisco for Democracy is not in the practice of adopting or publishing positions on any one particular issue. Declaring that we are 100% in support of gay marriage - when it has never been discussed or voted upon by our membership - is simply not a valid statement. If you want the organization to adopt this position, you'll need to a) join as a member; b) bring it up to be voted upon at a membership meeting. (We have previously decided on several occasions not to adopt policy positions on issues such as housing and the hotel strike - rather, we make information and activism opportunities available to our members so they can personally get involved in these issues.)
Second, the piece has an overwhelmingly negative tone. It bashes Democrats left and right, many of whom our members feel neutral or positive about (such as Barney Frank and Bill Clinton). Our organization is not likely to suddenly go from endorsing John Kerry to "decrying" him over one particular issue.
Also, for something like this to get published, it needs to be a) a lot shorter, and b) in response to something printed in a particular paper.
Finally, we're actually an independent 501c4 organization, not a chapter of Democracy for America. You might want to check out the FAQ on our website - sf4democracy.com/main/faqs.asp - which explains that distinction.
Date: Thu, 9 Dec 2004 21:54:40 -0800 From: Jehovah's Queer Witness To: Wont Western Subject: Re: Here's my first draft (Zeke)
Quoting Wont Western :
for sending that along. While personally I agree with some of what you
wrote, unfortunately, it needs considerable editing before I would
consider sending it to the press on behalf of the organization.
can I say? I had a FABulous time composing it, A verycreative force
that triggered insomnia--as it usually does. I only write truth...if it
seems harsh to you, I suggest you compare this to the harshness of real
homophobia that breathes down our queer backs every single moment...and
we are being targeted big time by politico bigwigs...on all parts of
the spectrum, which includes of course Democrats.
And if it
still seems harsh, then perhaps you ought to consider your own
blinders, and willfull ignorance of a most heinous and growing
I am so ashamed of you.
But hey, if ya don't
like it, ya don't like it! And I'm NOT going to try to intrude my
timely opinions in a mound of homophobic resistance. I'm not even gonna
bother coming back, or participate in any way, with Democracy for America...which really should be called "Demokracy fer Amerika (except for the faggots)."
is sorely needed is a political movement that is both vigorous and
positive about gay people. Duh! How bad does it have to get for us
fags, for you to roll up your sleeves and help us beat back the Beast?
have made my presence known to various groups around The City. You know
where I am, so if you ever need my help, just say the word. I'm sure
you will; I'm sure you will. But it will come with a great price of
sorrow. That is what happens to "good" folk who persist in allowing
great evil to have its way, even after becoming fully conscious of its
Wow! Wow! Wow! This is hilarious. I think I'll
incorporate this badinage in tommorow night's open mic. I'll have the
audience falling off their chairs in laughter. Why don't you show up,
and bring a friend or two? 8pm, 3 Dollar Bill Cafe (in the LGBT Center;
or do you shun setting your breeder foot in there?), 1800 Market St.
(& Octavia). $1-5 donation requested to support the Cafe, but if
you're broke, no problem, we understand.
Woof! Too many hetero dogs in the way, between me and My Biscuit!
-- "Many are called but few are chosen; Step right up for your lederhosen." - Big Gay Brother [ gay-bible.org ]
Gay Marriage By Any Other Name -or- Letter to the Pharisees
(c) 2004 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
December 9, 2004
THE PEOPLE FOR A SANE WORLD officially declare 100% support for gay
marriage, as a civil right and a birthright. Those religious
institutions that condemn such partnerships are in flagrant violation
of the US Constitution's first amendment,
which states: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment
of religion." Furthermore, said institutions often encourage attitudes
of hatred and promotion of violence against sexual minorities in many
other ways, and have a long history of such. And these "godly"
organizations remain, as they have for untold centuries, the major and
sole cause of virulent homophobia.
Amerika would not tolerate
such ugly behavior by a religious group towards any other minority, in
our modern day. And it is one important tenet of so-called activist
judges, to protect a minority from the tyranny of the majority.
Especially when such a minority is more universally hated than any
other; as are homosexuals, transsexuals and bisexuals. In fact, as
oppressed as many minorities remain, most still cling to backward and
hateful notions against even their own non-hetero brethren.
issue of gay marriage has become a glaring example of dangers that
arise when church matters are not kept separate from those of the
state. Indeed, it has become The Great Test Of Today's Amerika
regarding the issue of individual rights versus majority prejudice. And
if we keep moving in that sorry direction much longer, we are likely to
see a full-blown holocaust against these long-suffering people.
progressives of all stripes must also share considerable shame, for
sometimes participating in homophobic actions (at worst), or looking
the other way too often (at best). To rectify this, we stand with other
responsible liberals and moderates, who take up the cause of gay
equality starting with marriage, in brave and aggressive manners. Even
some churches are finally joining in, thus answering to their savior's
message of compassion. I hope this will mark a sea-change in attitude
regarding our sexual minorities.
We also acknowledge that none of these four examples are Republicans;
in fact they are all regarded as staunch Democrats. (Centrists have
thus proven themselves to be Republican wolves in Donkey hide.)
All truly progressive people will not tolerate any more homophobia from
our own liberal groups and representatives, and must therefore, if need
be, not just condemn but separate
ourselves from those who continue to harbor anti-gay attitudes. We must
be as clear, as strong, and as steadfast regarding gay marriage, as we
have been these many years against racism, misogyny, child abuse,
capital punishment, and preemptive declarations of war. For it has
become all too obvious that condemnation of gay marriage is a red
herring to distract us from the real agenda: removal of all LGBT rights
to mark them as second-class citizens in perpetuity. And then, the
elimination of all rights for every other citizen, except a remnant of
the power elite.
We will no longer tolerate frivolous and
mean-sprited arguments questioning whether or not gays can marry,
whether or not they deserve equal status as human beings, and whether
or not they shall go to heaven. Such debates hold no validity in any
civilized nation, as they are founded on a premise that is blatantly
erroneous from the start, for it flies in the face of common sense and
compassion. Nor shall we ever again engage any discussion over
partnerships termed and defined as something resembling marriage, but
not ever equal to. In other words "separate and unequal." In short:
Marriage by any other name just doesn't cut the mustard.
have claimed that Hitler was not Christian or pro-Christian. Thus,
fundamentalists like to blame secularism and paganism for the rise of
Nazism. I've even met liberal Jews who think that Hitler did not use
Christian dogma for his cruel agenda! In fact, Hitler used the tenets
of Christianity to foment Nazi hegemony...just like our Prez Bush
author of this article, Maureen Farrell, does a fine job of showing how
Christian dogma was essential to the formation of Nazi power. And...she
does an equally great job of showing how anti-gay sentiments are used
by our Religious Reich to foment homophobia as a basis to weaken
democracy. Kudos to Maureen, for not excluding the queer issue in
confronting Republican Dogma!
It has been my stand for some time
now, when a liberal describes minority grievances, s/he ought to
include sexual minorities in the mix, or they are dangerous enemies to
democracy. There is no excuse to exclude gays from the concern of those
who are moderates and/or left-leaning in the political spectrum. One
cannot simply write them off as "meaning to" include us queers...when
they include phrases like "minority bashing" and "those whose rights
are denied" and even "all others who are persecuted by the majority".
We should never be apologists for this lack of respect to a severely
villified group of citizens. If they can't spell it out or spit it out,
words like "gay" and "homosexual", then I say beware!