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-------------------------------------------------------------- Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this writing free of charge (including translation into any language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom, and that it remain intact and complete, including title and credit to the original author. Ezekiel J. Krahlin http://www.gay-bible.org --------------------------------------------------------------
SYLVESTER IS MY SHEPHERD
© 2007 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)
We need to create a new religion, using TV icons as our deities. I propose nominating Sylvester the Cat as the Patron Saint of Neglected Children. For in my generation, and later ones, it was his antics (and that of other Looney Tunes characters), that made us laugh, when nothing else in our broken homes and childhood afforded us this wonderful joy, to show us that life can indeed be good. (I chose Sylvester as representative for all Warner Brothers cartoon characters.)
By studying their cartoons, I conclude there had to be at least some people working for Warner Brothers, who really cared about children...enough to delight us and make us forget our sorrows, for a time. It was more than a job for them; it was a calling. Bless every one of them, for it was a mission well done.
Carl Jung, the father of humane psychotherapy, claimed that the gods and goddesses--archetypes--live in every generation's popular icons. He mentioned movie stars and comic book characters as examples. I believe he was right on.
Jung's ideas have been a constant inspiration for me...and I use the strategy of archetypes in ALL my writing, and in my activism. You can see my archetypes in action, in my many tales...which you'll find on my website in these two sections:
Poems, Tales, Letters & Essays
True Tales From The Castro
Joseph Campbell, one of Jung's great disciples (in addition to Herman Hesse), stated that mankind is starving for a NEW mythology for a NEW world. Little did I dream I'd be one of the authors to bring this about! (No false humility here...after all, I AM the author of The Final Testament a.k.a. The Faggot Bible.) I revise old mythology (and create new mythology) on behalf of LGBT people...and incorporate various cultural icons around the world, and recreate them as gay deities, messengers, angels, and tricksters.
A great example of my Native American gay tales is:
Grandfather & Grandson
Here's a very multicultural tale, with deities from various cultures (Greek, Hindu, Buddhist, Native American, Islamic, etc.):
The Mask of Horus
And here's a tale that carries on the tradition of Greek mythology, though with a gay spin to it:
The Cloak of Invisibility
In that tale, I literally pick up the "thread" of Greek mythos by discovering a magic cloak woven with the leftover thread of Ariadne. Quote: "I believe it was woven from Ariadne's thread tossed aside in a forgotten ball, once Theseus made his escape from the Labyrinth."
And THIS hilarious tale:
Jesus On The Okra Winfree Show
The premise here, is that Jesus DOES return, and he's a flaming queer, like his Dad. Quote: "Jesus Christ returns to planet earth and, of course, He is invited to a LOT of talk shows...in order for us to understand better, what this man called Jesus is really all about. So it is on the Okra Winfree Show He is asked the question: "Jesus, what do YOU think was the most important advice YOU ever received in Your lifetime as the Suffering Messiah?"
I am very proud of this tale:
Brian And The Werewolf
For I consider it the gay version of Beauty & The Beast. Quote: "In a time when lonely old ladies were being burned for witchcraft and young men were tied with bundles of sticks to light these fires, a woman died at childbirth on the edge of a village. The child's name was Brian, because he was born in the briars. He grew to be a lover of men; but these were dangerous times for brotherly love. Brian therefore lived a lonely life of heartache, and hatred for the ignorant folk with whom he daily bargained to survive. Until he met Damien, the werewolf."
It takes place in Wales, when the people were still mostly pagans, but Xianity had just begun to usurp the ancient Celtic culture there.
And one more:
The Little Angel Who Wouldn't Fly
Quote: "In the First Year of the Return of Our Lord, there was a little angel who wouldn't fly. Not that he didn't have wings, nor were they damaged in any way. He just wouldn't fly. And this was a mystery to all the other angels who did, and looked below and saw the little angel like a mite moving across the brown and green face of Urth."
So these are all excellent examples of how I take archetypal characters out of folklore and religion, and transform them into gay heros. BTW, all the tales I just listed are part of my collection "Parables for the 21st Century"...which idea I got way back in 1988 (starting w/The Little Angel Who Wouldn't Fly).
FYI, many people around the world have translated my writing into many different languages...for which I give permission w/o cost. One of my ideals is the belief that what I have to say is too important to let mere lucre stand in the way. Some day, this will all pay off.
I know my future, my destiny, and have even written up all my famous quotes before they happen. May as well get them out of the way now! Examples: "When in Rome, vandalize", "There's a little homo in every homo sapiens", "There are no heteros in foxholes", "Accusing a gay person of heterophobia is like accusing a Jew of Naziphobia", and "Many are called but few are chosen, so step right up for your lederhosen."
I even wrote articles and tales about my future. Two examples:
The Future Belongs To "Moi"
The Birth Of The Final Testament
I am a gay prophet, visionary, healer and philosopher...from the pagan tradition. MOST of my wisdom I was born with...I take hardly any credit for my gifts. They were NOT earned, but given. I've written much of my prophecy in Usenet newsgroups, so that when people look back, I have provided solid PROOF of my abilities...since I can NOT alter the dates of my postings. (This is also a good way of protecting your copyrights, w/o costing a dime.)
I use humor as my main tool for raising consciousness. And I constantly hone my gift of writing and speaking, in order to refine my goddess-given talents to the utmost. I now realize that I have finally entered the time when my gifts now flourish. I have a constant stream of writing and ideas now going on in my life...not ONE SINGLE WRITER'S BLOCK exists. It is an exhilarating and fulfilling experience.
I will end my prattling for now, with one more famous quote by yours truly:
"I will never abuse the Oval Orifice." - El Presidente Zeke