APPEND DICKS

The Casper Logo

I wanted to reference Sherlock Holmes...everyone's favorite detective (and, I guess, quasi-psychic). So I Allthewebed (I'm anti-Google) "deerstalker" and guess what? Got the perfect image on the first hit:

Next, " calabash pipe", found on search result page 2, the final pic:

Then, maybe a ghost face...suddenly, "Casper the Friendly Ghost" came to mind. VOILA: the perfect image appeared (like a ghost...hardy-har-har) on the first result page, top-row third image:

Obviously, the deerstalker cap should go on his head...and I wondered if he should either smoke that pipe, or hold it in his upraised hand. Then it dawn on me: he's a ghost, he's like the smoke from a pipe! (But I got the pipe wrong, had to re-do it.)

His upheld hand remained empty, and it bothered me (or should I say "haunted"). Since I'm a gay detective, I figured Casper shold be holding up a pink triangle. But it needed to be classier than just a flat image...I know: a triangle-shaped ruby or garnet (or bloodstone)! First I searched for "pink garnet triangle"...no luck (in fact, it was a disaster). Then "pink ruby triangle" (nope), then "pink triangle jewelry" when (by the third search-result page)...SUCCESS:

Then I figured the gem should be flashing like a neon sign. The title and statements below came last.

And no, I didn't PhotoShop the images. That's like saying you "googled" something, when you actually used another search engine, like AltaVista, WebCrawler, or LookSmart. Classic pre-Internet analog: "Kleenex".

I used the simple MS Paint program.

For an extra treat, hold your mouse cursor over Casper. See where he takes you!