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Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and 
credit to the original author.

Ezekiel J. Krahlin


(A True Tale From The Castro. Eat your heart out, Armistead!)

© 2002 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin

From: "Gay Guy" [] To: "Luke Warm" [fake_friends@HetEmpire.bad] Date: Sat, 03 Aug 2002 Subject: The Danger of Lukewarm Friends 8/3/02 10:15:00 AM, "Luke Warm" [fake_friends@HetEmpire.bad] wrote: Il Duce- Please, I prefer to be called "El Presidente"...if you don't mind. But you seem to have a mind of your own; that's gotta go! Apparantly, my angels think it would be such fun to create a "Banana Republic" scenario for my rise to power. So "Il Duche" is out, "El Presidente" is in. So is "El Comandante". | After about an hour with you yesterday, hearing you | go over and over your plans to rule the world, | complete with shrill laughter and claims of | perfection and infallibility, I have reached the | conclusion that you are utterly mad. Good for you...then if I'm ever threatened with being cut off from disability funds, I know I can count on you to defend my case...but if not, I can always sub-poena. But don't paint me as the culprit: blame it on September 11, and the horrendous abuses we who live at 2306 suffered throughout last year, regarding the emergency building repairs. | You need to come down off your manic high. Might I | suggest Lithium? You can't tell the difference between an elegant sense of humor and insanity. That's because you were raised to condemn anyone as "mad" who does not behave precisely like "everyone else". I just take it to new heights, which is the heart of San Francisco's abused spirit: humor and wit in the face of dullards and terrorists. Fortunate for you, you are classified under the former. You just don't know how to have fun, poor soul-- you're what some circles would call, a "killjoy". Please consider that I am a brilliantly-gifted artist, who uses life as the Ultimate (and favorite) Canvas. This is my latest work in progress: my attempts to run for President while still classified as poor, unemployed, receiving gov't stipend, blatantly homosexual, AND borderline schizophrenic and manic-depressive. That is the challenge life presents me; that is the challenge I my own inimitable way. It is my hope that this latest work will exceed the good results I achieved in my last opus, "The Somalian Affair". | Until you decide to take more responsibility for | your mental health and come to grips how you are | coming across, I wish you (once again) good luck. Responsibility? A society that scorns me for having some sort of mental disability, denies me decent labor, denies me a decent home, denies me a decent community, denies me continued care of my miserable teeth, denies me any other decent medical care (and they're supposed to be our HEALERS?)... all because I don't have a fat wallet. And then you tell me about "reponsibility?" I'm just giving back to the world what it dished out to me. And I'm right, they're wrong... nothing could be clearer than that: THEM who persecute the poor and the homosexual, versus US who only want to enjoy life. There are no shades of gray in this man's army. | Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: | Click Here I clicked and clicked, and clicked, but you know what? No one's home. P.S.: My spontaneous mockery of this comic tragedy we call humanity, sadly eludes you. I'm having a heck of a lot of fun, while you stand on the sidelines whimpering, worrying over your busy little hands whether or not you should assume the "responsibility" to "turn me in". Don't even go there, as I don't hate you, and wouldn't want to see you suffer the ugly consequences of betraying a Friend To All Queers. But if you do, tell 'em this: "Randolph Louis Taylor sent me". P.P.S.: I enjoyed your visit, and your delicious little e-mail that followed. You certainly know how to include a "sense of closure" to friendly get-togethers! If you can better control your erroneous use of judgment, I'll be more than glad to see you again. P.P.P.S.: Vote for me! -- Vote for Zeke in double-oh-eight, Or right-wing goons will seal your fate!