Video frame taken with a Konica-Minolta Dimage
Z10 digital camera, at maximum (32x) zoom.
Been having glorious visions of the very near future re. my friendship
w/Larkin. In this next round of our buddy-ness, we'll become quite the
center of gossip...hilarious antics making people laugh and forget
their problems...a great healing force from our chemistry...a great
adventure that will take off like spiritual wildfire and consume
everyone else in the process.
So I was walking down Market Street two days ago, in this Larkin
Reverie: In my mind's eye, I returned to the Metro (I've only been
there once so far, while he's working), and sit by a corner table.
Larkin comes up and looks down at me from his vast height of 6'4", then
speaks: "I want you to leave now."
So I look up (but not at him) and say: "Good Gay Lord Jehovah in
Heaven, why did you send me such a bee-atch for a guardian angel? The
last one you sent me, was a junkie...and now THIS?" (Pointing at
Larkin...and then I look in those lovely golden-red eyes of his, and
say:) "You mean the world to me."
And right at that moment of my reverie, I snap out of it and look down
at the sidewalk, where I see a phrase cleanly chiseled into the
"You are my everything"
Upside-down, mind you...like a mirror reflection!
This telepathic link is extraordinary...and I believe he's not being a
pest by refusing to let me speak with him. My desire to be with him,
and be a best friend...and NOT able to talk...intensifies my telepathic
ability. I certainly feel Larkin's affectionate spirit around me VERY
strongly, these last few days.
So yesterday, I'm crossing the street directly under the Metro, and of
course I look up to see if Larkin is taking his smoking break on the
deck. No, but I do know he's working, as I could see him there, from
the hallway window of our building (next to Mark's apartment). He's so
tall, that the awning blocks his head when he's standing on the deck.
In the chill weather, he can be seen wearing that same old red and
dark-blue jacket...he's sporting a close-cropped (but full) beard and
moustache these days...and his shaved head (that lasted a few months; I
think to honor me) is now graced with a thick crop of lustrous dark
red-brown wavy hair.
So I cross over to Cafe Flor and look back up: he's still not there.
(Funny thing: assuming he's telepathic, he KNOWS exactly where I am at
any time...and I believe he makes himself available to my view
precisely when he thinks it's right.) I linger a while, then cross
Market to stand at the corner by the Baghdad Cafe. Now THIS TIME when I
look back, I see my Larkin lighting up, there on the deck...and looking
DIRECTLY at me. And I, of course, at him, and I'm smiling and feeling
so warm and happy like a puppy dog in the spring rain. (Please, no
golden shower joke...it's just TOO obvious.)
He doesn't move or turn away from my gaze...but we're far enough apart
(of course) to not be absolutely CERTAIN he's really looking right at
me. So he's smoking, with his arms crossed, taking those puffs every
few seconds, apparently watching me watching him watching me.
I finally turn away after a long, thirst-quenching gaze upon quite an
incredible fighting Irishman...and continue my walk towards Church
Street. But as I stroll on, sure that Larkin's still staring (this time
at my back), I raise both hands in a "V" for victory (and peace). Then,
from about a half block down from the corner I just left, I turn around
and see Larkin still in the same spot, smoking and looking at me.
So I linger some seconds, looking back with great delight...then bring
my right hand in a fist, over my heart...and hold that pose briefly,
then turn away and continue my walk. "Should I look back just one more
time?" I think, as I reach the further corner. So I do, and see Larkin
extinguish his butt (pun intended), open the sliding window, and step
inside. I could follow his body with my eyes, even from that distance,
in the shadow of the bar in spite of all the other people there. I have
an eagle eye for the apple of my eye!
Then I stopped for hot cocoa at Muddy Waters on Church...still in
reverie...too much to actually read a book or newspaper...listening to
music, feeling damn HAPPY. I decide to wander up Polk Street for my
hike, which I haven't done in over a year. (I have sundry hiking routes
throughout the city...and sometimes don't return to one for months or
So I met a really nice guy at a coffeehouse on Polk...one that I've
always been meaning to visit. I invited him inside, and bought us hot
chocolate. In fact, when I offered Jeff some coffee, he said he'd
prefer cocoa. So I have a new friend, who is very sweet and handsome,
and we like each other a whole lot! He stayed over two nights ago...boy
did I feel relaxed...his company is so pleasant, and that's a good
sign. He also dropped over for a couple hours yesterday, saying he just
wanted to be with me. What a doll!
Yes, and he's not the only lovely man I befriended that day...there's
ANOTHER I met in the early evening, before Jeff showed up. This one's
Freddie, and he, too, is a good-looker and sweetheart.
My point here, is that it was such a magical day, that started with
seeing handsome Larkin across the street, and our silent exchange. I
feel LESS frustrated and more heartfelt by our nonverbal
communique...it's a very subtle force, but definitely NOT just my
imagination. I believe that Larkin's magic is weaving this great
adventure for me...and has put me through my paces like a drill
sergeant, and I've just graduated from boot camp. (Or should I say
"booty" camp? He has a cute, round one, you know! Though I'd prefer one
somewhat more AMPLE than his, though hey, I'm sure I'm not his cup of
tea in EVERY way, either. Good thing neither of us is monogamous.)
So today, I'm gonna mosey on up to that coffeehouse on Polk again, in
hopes of seeing Jeff. It's also possible he'll drop on by this eve.,
which would be nice. And tomorrow is a big day because for the SECOND
time only, I'll hang at the Metro for an hour, enjoying the presence of
my belov-ed under the same roof. And I'll leave a Mad Magazine at my
table, as a gift to him.
That goes back to last year in February or March, when I brought a copy
of Mad to read at Hole in the Wall. (I had a two-year subscription that
recently ended...nostalgia inspired me to read the magazine I grew up
with and loved, and hadn't read for most of my adult life till now.)
Larkin came running in, looked over my shoulder, said,
"Mad!"...actually, HOLLERED it, then swiped the magazine and ran off
with it upstairs to his apartment. I never saw that issue again. Oh,
and he also swiped the large Hershey chocolate bar w/almonds peeking
out of my backpack. Never saw THAT again, either.
There's a really nice essay I wrote in 2004 called "Kudos, Mad"...about
why I recently subscribed to Mad, and how those artists and authors put
joy in a lonely child's heart. It's on my web log here: