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Better Than You Date Rape Drug
05.25.06 (1:42 am)   [edit]
Last night, I found the following anonymous letter hastily folded in a small envelope taped to my door. (Envelope simply titled "205"--which is my room number--in bold lettering.) It is the latest repercussion of my mugging April 10...probably by one among a handful of wicked residents.

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Modern Drunkard Magazine: no fags allowed
05.18.06 (9:16 pm)   [edit]

From: Zeke Krahlin
Sent: Tuesday, May 16, 2006 1:15 PM
To: Friends of Zeke mailing list
Subject: Modern Drunkard Magazine - hilarious!

Since I've miraculously morphed into a bar fly, my new-found drinking buddy, Tom (also a Red out of Chicago; yay!) turned me on to Modern Drunkard Magazine.

I find their wittiness outstanding. Of course, consider the source...or should I say "sauce"?

Seriously, folks: even a tea totaller will laugh her/his arse off, reading this brilliantly decadent and whimsical zine just for drunks. Ooops, they call 'em "drunkards"...guess 'cause it sounds a tad respectable.

I think it would be truly fun to write a piece for them, from the ambience of a GAY bar. Wonder if they've done anything on that yet? You know I'll find out!


From: Zeke Krahlin
Sent: Wednesday, May 17, 2006 11:47 AM
To: editor@moderndrunkardmaga zine.com
Subject: No gay bars at all?

Heterosexuals aren't the only ones who drink and write about it with wit and aplomb.

I searched your site to find NOTHING about gay bars, or gay drunks. Even your San Francisco bar review was strictly heterosexual. The ONLY references your online magazine has to homosexuals, is simply to insult them as a perverted sense of humor.

But then again, that's a big part of being a str8 drunkard. It's GAY drunks that have class, and make lovely fantasies and adventures come true. If you'd like, I can contribute a piece about a gay bar, for your next issue. It was recently printed as a letter to the editor in the local gay press, and really created waves. Please read that letter here:

A Handsome Mug

BTW, feel free to include the picture accompanying that piece.

--
Zeke Krahlin
http://www.gay-bible.org


From: editor@moderndrunkardmaga zine.com
To: Zeke Krahlin
Date: 17 May 2006, 11:24:40 AM
Subject: RE: No gay bars at all?
Come now. How does getting drugged and mugged equate "class" or a "lovely fantasy?"

We have covered gay bars in the past ("Straight Shots in a Gay Bar" June 2002) and have attempted to secure gay bars as advertisers. They prefer to advertise in Denver's three gay publications, and many will not carry MDM simply because it doesn't cater to the gay crowd. Selah.

What it comes down to is we are essentially a straight magazine. And I won't apologize for that, no more than The Pink Pages or Out Front should apologize for being gay publications.

Best Regards,

Frank Rich
Editor
Modern Drunkard Magazine
www.drunkard.com


From: Zeke Krahlin
To: editor@moderndrunkardmaga zine.com
Date: 17 May 2006, 10:38:44 PM
Subject: Re: No gay bars at all?

editor@moderndrunkardmaga zine.com writes:

Come now. How does getting drugged and mugged equate "class" or a "lovely fantasy?"

It doesn't. My particular piece I thought was hilariously pathetic: typical of drunken foolishness...with a distinctly GAY spin. My references to "class" and "lovely fantasy" have to do with the OTHER side of gay bars...to which heteros are NOT privy.

We have covered gay bars in the past ("Straight Shots in a Gay Bar" June 2002)

But still, from a hetero perspective. You SHOULD have a distinctly gay perspective in some of your articles. I am a humorist, who can do that for you...and very well, thank you.

and have attempted to secure gay bars as advertisers. They prefer to advertise in Denver's three gay publications, and many will not carry MDM simply because it doesn't cater to the gay crowd. Selah.

Um...why SHOULD they advertise with you, when you REFUSE to incorporate a vibrant aspect of bars and drunkenness: the gay scene. That is plain and simple: DISCRIMINATION.

What it comes down to is we are essentially a straight magazine

Oh, really? Where does it say "HETERO-ONLY Modern Drunkards", eh? Your magazine does NOT hold a monopoly on bars and drunks. But by intentionally EXCLUDING the marvelous gay aspect on this, you slap us queers in the face.

And I won't apologize for that, no more than The Pink Pages or Out Front should apologize for being gay publications.

A ROTTEN comparison. Those publications are CLEARLY gay oriented. Drunkeness is NOT limited to heteros...nor does it mean its validity and quality are monopolized by heteros only...which is what is implied by your horrid EXCLUSION of the queer side.

Apologize? Did Hitler apologize for excluding gays from German society?

Best Regards

Nonsense. You are NOT a straight magazine...and it is only your hetero ARROGANCE that assumes we readers should all EXPECT you to be hetero-supremacists.

Do you exclude black bars and drunks? Asians? Women? No, you do not. Therefore, you are simply COPPING OUT of including queer pespectives, because of your unadmitted HOMOPHOBIA. You also probably fear LOSS in subscriptions, if you include gay articles.

Typical drunk hetero chicken-shit.

--
Zeke Krahlin
http://www.gay-bible.org



I may be able to DRINK you under the table,
but I'll never BLOW you, faggot!

I thought this would be the end of our e-mail dialogue...but no, the saga continues. Read on:

From: editor@moderndrunkardmaga zine.com
To: Zeke Krahlin
Date: 19 May 2006, 10:50:12 AM
Subject: RE: No gay bars at all?

You seem to think that the gay drinking experience is some how different and superior to drinking in general. We write about drinking. Gay people drink. They can dig it in that context. Are you telling me gay people can only enjoy an article or magazine unless it is specifically catered to them? Much as a man who prefers beer cannot enjoy a story about a guy getting drunk on gin? Cannot a gay reader enjoy The Great Gatsby, despite the fact the main characters are straight? Do you refuse to read articles about fly fishing because the fisherman isn't gay? Are you that prejudiced against people who aren't like you?

Best Regards,

Frank Rich
Editor
Modern Drunkard Magazine
www.drunkard.com


From: Zeke Krahlin
To: editor@moderndrunkardmaga zine.com
Date: 19 May 2006, 12:14:37 PM
Subject: Re: No gay bars at all?

editor@moderndrunkardmaga zine.com writes:

You seem to think that the gay drinking experience is some how different and superior to drinking in general.

Indeed! That IS the case. But because your hetero-supremacist attitude BLOCKS you from the unique style of gay bars and drunkenness, you have no idea. I am OFFERING to provide you some rather remarkable true tales that are going on at a gay bar I'm hanging out in. For example, when you have the time, read this:

Larkin: A Hidden Treasure

My point really being, that since MOST heteros remain strongly heterocentric (if not outright homophobic as well), they have SUPPRESSED an element of human magic and fun, at their own cost.

Black bars are different than white bars. Likewise, Native Amerikan. Ergo, what YOU imply, is that gay bars LACK their own distinct identity.

We write about drinking. Gay people drink.

Yet your magazine suggests (through ignoring us queers) that gay people not only do not drink: they do not even exist.

Are you telling me gay people can only enjoy an article or magazine unless it is specifically catered to them?

Of course not. What I AM telling you, is that it is MOST discouraging and SAD, that we gays still remain IGNORED by a wide variety of eclectic and fun literature. Despite the fact that many gay bars are VIBRANT and unique in ways that straights will never know.

To ASSUME that every publication, every group, every institution is intrinsically heterosexist, even when they claim to be for EVERYone...is part of the package that is termed heterocentric. This is similar to blacks demanding they be included in the social milieu of society...whether clubs, media, bars, etc

For any magazine to ASSUME it is Caucasian-centered, and that everyone ELSE should assume likewise...is a SLAP in black people's faces. In that same fashion, you claim this is true for heteros. It's like being an Aryan-Nazi group, yet legitimizing it as part of a multicultural experience.

Cannot a gay reader enjoy The Great Gatsby, despite the fact the main characters are straight?

Well, no, they can't truly enjoy it...because we queers KNOW that gays are part of Gatsby's world...yet the author has expurgated that important facet from literary consciousness. In fact, gays have played MAJOR roles in all facets of society, both good and bad.

Do you refuse to read articles about fly fishing because the fisherman isn't gay?

No. But I AM aware that gay fishermen DO exist, and ought to be included in such magazines. I'm sick and TIRED of pics of red-blooded hetero sportsmen standing beside this or that big-boobed female bimbo. It is vulgar, it is barbarian. In fact, it is even VIOLENT...due to the machismo attitude IMPLIED by such displays.

Do black fishermen exist? Female?

Are you that prejudiced against people who aren't like you?

Of course not...unless they are homophobic. You have justified a cruel prejudice against gay people, by claiming that MDM is for heteros only. Where in your publication does it say this? Clearly, not on the front page, nor anywhere else.

--
Zeke Krahlin
http://www.gay-bible.org

0 Comments
 
Fag On My Door
05.06.06 (12:59 am)   [edit]

On May 4, 2006--between 8:30pm and 10pm--someone scratched the word "Fag" on my door. I've taken some photos, but they didn't come out very clear, due to the light reflecting off a glossy surface.

Notice the horizontal bar missing in the "a". Assumption is that somebody came walking down the stairs or hallway, and s/he had to stop or get caught.

I have several suspects, including my neighbor, Frank, who spoke in a hostile fashion to me on the evening of May 5, before a witness (my neighbor, Mark Fisher). (For another suspect, read below.)

Meanwhile, Hole-in-the-Wall bartender Richard on night shift Fri.-Sun. has 86'd me during his hours. And Fri. & Sun. nights were my favorite. He thinks I exposed the bar to narcs infiltrating, etc. He's just a drama queen, who doesn't like anyone around, who knows him from his guitar-playing Jesus-freak past at Church of the Holy Redeemer.

Sad for me, however, as those two time slots are exactly the ones with a window of opportunity in which to rebuild my friendship with Larkin. No good deed goes unpunished, I suppose.

(And what was I doing at Holy Redeemer (that's in The Castro)? Well, I was referred to a Father Young, because he had connections in Washington D.C., that might be able to track down my buddy Randolph, who had just shot himself by "The Wall", and could not be found at any hospital there, via my phone calls. This was back in 1985.)


May 2, 2006

Dear Ruth Harris, mgr. 2306 Market:

Reporting an incident that occurred in the 2nd-floor hallway yesterday, May 1, 2006, at approx. 2:45pm:

While I was in the shared bathroom, Rod (Room 209) started banging loudly on the door, screaming at me. He was mostly incoherent; upset about the water on the floor. As far as I can tell, that water came from someone not towelling off in the bathtub, but instead let water drip and spill on the floor. Either that, or we have a leaky toilet.

Anyway, it has happened at least three times, because I've been noticing, too. And it started when the resident of 210 began moving his stuff out. My hunch is the spilled water is due to his guest(s) assisting him with the move.

I can certainly vouch that's all it's been: water. I mopped it up once, just to show goodwill towards Rod. I assure you: it was only water, not urine or any other untoward substance. Any further messes that are not my doing (or that of my occassional visitors), I will not clean up after, with or w/o Rod's hysterical ranting.

Please speak to Rod about his crude behavior. This is not the first time. (See enclosed copy of complaint about his loud music, which I sent you and owner on August 31 last year.)

By the way: Rod also hollered something about reading my letter to the editor in the SF Bay Times, Aug. 20. He screamed that I'm a phony, not really a visionary for the gay community in the Pagan tradition. While he has a right to voice his opinion, he does not have a right to holler at me over any issue, in such a loud and threatening manner. Nonetheless, I thank him for bothering to read one of my latest pieces!

Sincerely,

Zeke Krahlin, 205
cc: Rod, 209

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