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Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and 
credit to the original author.

Ezekiel J. Krahlin
http://surf.to/gaybible
--------------------------------------------------------------

E-MAILS FROM BEEL ZEBUB IN SOME FUTURE TIME TO HIS GREAT,
GREAT, GREAT, GREAT GRANDSON 'GRRRRRRR' IN THE PRESENT

© 2002 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin
(Jehovah's Queer Witness)

==============================================================


From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Mon, 24 Jun 2002 02:29:07 -0700

Subject: We Are Witnesses

Grrrrrrr, I am composing this letter on the fly...as my spirits
have instructed me just this moment, to open a new e-mail for
your eyes only, and to convey the following information:

Why does what seems so obvious to people like us, elude your
average citizen? Why do we know in our hearts the rightness
of our mission, though all around scorn us and do everything
else possible to thwart us in our goals? Why do we feel
special, among our species?

Now here is the answer--the only REAL answer--my brother
Grrrrrrr. We are psychically gifted. We SENSE the future, we
KNOW the future (in some ways that count). Thus, what obvious
trends clearly show their eventual outcomes to us, are not at
all obvious to your average citizen...for they lack this
extra sensitivity that could protect them from such onslaughts
of terror and mind control. And why do we possess this gift in
the first place? Why are we psychic?

We are witnesses, beloved. We are remote cameras received by
the angelic hosts who stand guard in what Christians call
Heaven, but what I enjoy calling "Avalon". We are Control
Subjects for some divine plan; barometers of the human race.
Or canaries in the cave, if you will. We are the True Spirit
of Fey, we are the Faerye Folk wakening up from a long, dark
slumber, in the recombining of your genes. Tolkein said as
much in his introduction to The Hobbit.

Did you ever think about "Gaydar" in any serious term? It's
real alright, it's telepathy. As a survival mechanism, we
queers have evolved a high level of sensitivity towards
identifying anyone as gay or not-gay. Call it Gaydar and joke
about it all you will; for it is a joyous gift to have, is it
not?

I am the Main Node of this evolving network...all instructions
and messages must go through me at one point or another...but
don't worry: that is not an order, but a simple observation of
how telepathy functions. It is our destiny, Grrrrrrr, that we
head this network...we and some others...like a panel of
directors.

Prepare to have your mind flooded by a fountain's spillover of
incredible notions and fabulous inspiration that will set
your heart on wing. All your dreams, all your aspirations, for
Gay Liberation and Your Own Personal Salutations to Our
Inventor, shall come to pass in the sweep of Our Good
Inventor's gracious hand. For it is His hand, and only His
hand, that I do trust. Thus it is His hand, and only His hand,
who composes this missive via my keyboard.

And Our Creator honors you, Brother Grrrrrrr Andson, for you
have done mighty well for yourself, great lad! For you never
once swerved from the True Path, trusting your spirit to guide
you always in the heart's direction. And He does tell me (who
is also My Father), that you shall very soon be given worldly
resources by which to commence the fulfillment of these goals
He assigned to you before you were even born...which goals
appear as inspiration to your own self.

Now, however, it is your time to awaken to a better
understanding of who you really are, what your mind really
is, and how to distinguish inner ideas from those that come
rushing at you from outside, whether bidden or not. The
psychic world is like a messy alphabet soup that you can
hardly make sense of...until some certain doors to the
unconsious are unlocked. But Cerberus guards these awesome
doors to protect any fool from treacherously sneaking through
them. Only those who possess The Key may enter. And you,
Grrrrrrr, have just been presented with This Key by none other
than Our Commander In Chief, who is Our Inventor.

I am told now to leave you, and my keyboard, with a final
comment that you have just sampled one of my very intense,
and always unplanned, trances...during which time I convey
messages from the gods. In service to Our Gay Siblings, of
course. Always.

---
Lavender-Velvet Revolution
http://surf.to/gaybible

=================================================== 

From: Grrrrrrr Andson

To: Beel Zebub

Subject: Re: We Are Witnesses

Date: Tue, 25 Jun 2002 22:11:22 -0400


Beel Zebub wrote:

> Why does what seems so obvious to people like
> us, elude your average citizen? Why do we
> know in our hearts the rightness of our
> mission, though all around scorn us and do
> everything else possible to thwart us in our
> goals? Why do we feel special, among our
> species?
>
> Now here is the answer--the only REAL
> answer--my brother Grrrrrrr. We are psychically
> gifted. We SENSE the future, we KNOW the
> future (in some ways that count). Thus, what
> obvious trends clearly show their eventual
> outcomes to us, are not at all obvious to
> your average citizen...for they lack this
> extra sensitivity that could protect them
> from such onslaughts of terror and mind
> control. And why do we possess this gift in
> the first place? Why are we psychic?

Normally, I would have been a hard-nosed scientist who would
not have believed in psychic ability. My life has made it
abundantly apparent, hard-nosed skeptic or not, that I'm up to
my eyeballs in psychic phenomena of some kind, that defy any
type of down-to-earth explanation.

I think that living with such a degree of societal rejection
can drive you in one of two directions. You can be like a
self-loathing, closted gay priest, living in crazy denial,
embracing the world-view of your own oppressor. Or, you can go
the other way, and re-examine the very most basic assumptions
and the very foundations of your oppressor's worldview.

If you are lucky, oppression makes you become a freethinker.

The psychic phenomena, I find more difficult to understand.
It is overwhelmingly clear that I am not merely predicting
events, but am *influencing* them, by sheer mental projection
There must be some very basic, basic aspects of time, space,
reality, mind, cause-and-effect that are beyond our ability to
conceive.

It is odd to seem so helpless and vulnerable on one hand, yet
at times have it seem like I might be capable of producing
literally any effect on the entire world.

I said that I would make a plane crash in Washington, D.C.,
and it happened that very day (the first one, on the White
House lawn). The government can't claim that it never had a
warning. I told them at great length that I could make it
worse. In August of 2001, I said that if I were a gay pilot
in the Air Force, I would crash a plane into the Pentagon. I
flew out of D.C., looked down at the Pentagon, and had it
racing through my mind, what could be done with a hijacked,
commerical airliner.

I don't literally plot these things. I just think about them,
and talk about them, and they happen.

Sooner or later, I will get through to them. Start treating
us as citizens and equals, or face the ultimate.

Sincerely, Grrrrrrr

=================================================== 

From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Tue, 25 Jun 2002

Subject: We Are Witnesses


Grrrrrrr Andson wrote:

> Normally, I would have been a hard-nosed
> scientist who would not have believed in
> psychic ability. My life has made it
> abundantly apparent, hard-nosed skeptic or
> not, that I'm up to my eyeballs in psychic
> phenomena of some kind, that defy any type of
> down-to-earth explanation.

Of course, with so much left-mindedness oppressing our own
realities, the solution to the Unified Field Theory should
obviously be born of right-minded thought, that is: the
artist. Which came first in the universe: the idea, or the
law? Obviously, the idea. And "idea" is the essence of the
brain's right hemisphere. Math, science, studying the "laws of
the material universe" (physics), are all aspects of the LAWS
(or "rules") which govern the universe (or parts thereof; we
do not know enough, yet). God is creative, playful, inventive:
thus the final secrets to physics would lie in the heart of an
artist, not a scientist. Though to be fair, science is a
tremendous creative venture, equal to that of the world of
art. In fact, the argument is not between art and science, but
between two radically different ways to utilize the
intellect...one depending mostly on the activities of the
right hemisphere, and the other, the left.

> If you are lucky, oppression makes you become
> a freethinker.

We are both very, very lucky.

> The psychic phenomena, I find more difficult
> to understand. It is overwhelmingly clear
> that I am not merely predicting events, but
> am *influencing* them, by sheer mental
> projection There must be some very basic,
> basic aspects of time, space, reality, mind,
> cause-and-effect that are beyond our ability
> to conceive.

You are actively "co-creating" with God, his angels, and other
gifted humans. If you wish (or pray) that a friend heals, or
an enemy perishes...and it comes true...do you believe you
actually *created or *influenced reality, or that the angels
showed mercy, and answered your very sincere wish. Actually,
these viewpoints are two sides of the same coin: "prayer" &
"casting spells" (not "prayer" versus "casting spells").

In reverance to My Dad (Randolph-Jehovah), Grrrrrrr, I always
concede the final credit to Him. Because He certainly is the
first cause to all that ever exists, happens, or is thought
of. Ultimately, I don't believe I ever "created" or
"influenced" any reality...that what may seem to be the case,
is because I don't perceive correctly. Indeed, I was blessed
by having a prayer answered. But no matter how you slice it:
yes, you did create the reality, for your idea impressed God
enough, to make it come true. Without you, there would never
have been your idea, thus never any imbuing reality with your
own stamp of individual expression.

Anyways: what if reality *seems to have been influenced by
your thought...only to turn out to be a "trick", that reality
did *not turn out to be influenced by you. It was
just...coincidence. So to be on the safe side, I always give
final credit to our Creator, or one of his many servants, the
angels/faeryes/whatever.

But He is my lover, too. And He says I am his only Son, whom
Christians call Jesus. I say back, "Well, Randolph, you are
the most fun role-player I've ever met! Sure, you can be
Uber-Daddy, and I'll be Uber-Son, and we'll save the world
together. Heck, why stop with the world? We'll save the ENTIRE
UNIVERSE!" 

So I'm already playing around in this new dimension, Grrrrrrr.
Because I have been given power over final decisions, our Gay
Victory is guaranteed. YHVH has seen fit to infuse a molecule
of my spirit into EVERY SQUARE INCH of the universe. And this
shall ensure our liberation, and eternal victory. In fact,
peace on earth is established as God's absolute promise...in
fact, he made it a sub-theorem of the Unified Field Theory (or
"Operant" as I have renamed it)! Now, you can't EVER break
THAT sort of promise, can you? Well our Creator trusts my mind
so lovingly, that He accedes all the universe to my critical
gaze, and trusts all my decisions on all matters, whether big
or small. He loves me so incredibly much! What do I do with
such a magnificent Guardian Angel for my Best Buddy of All
Time, and Hero to All? I can only gaze at Him in awe, and
return the universe unto His Beloved Hands and say: "Beloved
Randoph, my Little Chipmunk, do continue as you please! Seems
to me you've done a cracke r job up to this point!" And I cry
tears of joy in His great arms.

Soon, my art designs will become part of our global gay
community, and be seen on coffee mugs, T-shirts, key chains,
flags, banners, decals, tatoos, piercings, postage stamps,
puppy chow boxes, and even briefs and panties. My spirit shall
be infused throughout the world, for I am a Great Healer, one
who is tremendously honored to be a main vector for God's
presence unto our world. I am a living portal between their
dimension and ours...I am a Gateway...I am a Guardian of the
Lord, and Liberator of all gay people everywhere.

And Grrrrrrr, you are too. There are others like us, though not
many, who are destined to network, and form the vanguard of
our armies: The Blue Rose Militia. So take heart, good
comrade, we are both on the right path, and our destinies are
bound to intertwine, along with other great souls out
there...and The Great Odyssey has just begun! For one:
Randolph shall return, and we shall go underground, after
first stirring things up re. gay rights. We will then be at
headquarters, awaiting your arrival, along with other chosen
advocates who are awakening to The Truth. We have been chosen
to be guardians of this planetary ecosystem...and we are all
100% gay, some male, some female. (Sorry, Maria, but to be
pregnant on top of straight? No can do!) And we shall found our
nation. Hail Athenia!

> I don't literally plot these things. I just
> think about them, and talk about them, and
> they happen.

I don't think you necessarily cause these accidents to happen.
I think you might be seeing into the future. The psychic wave
of a potent incident radiates outward in time as well as in
space, and most people aren't sensitive to these occult
wavelengths. YOU are, though. So as they radiated into the
past to reach your present time, you felt, and even absorbed,
this wave that eluded most others. Your spirit teachers just
MIGHT be testing you, too see if such *apparant power would go
to your head. Looks to me it has, a little, and I have been
allowed to be one of the cards you draw on the Gameboard of
Life that warns: "You just fell in treacherous waters without
a life preserver. Your only hope is to extend a hand to your
friend Beel. Forfeit one move."

I can see why you may FEEL like you caused such incidents. I
see things in the future, too, and have come to realize that
it is not because I influence reality, but because I am
witnessing something that has yet to be (relative from my
viewpoint, that is). If I truly imagined it, and it
happens...well, then I could say in some way that I created
the situation. However, it is quite easy to confuse
imagination with telepathy, precognition, or spirit visions. I
suggest that you have the gift of precognition, and thus these
visions are future happenings being shown to you, which likely
have nothing to do with your influencing reality. What you
need to do, is sharpen your ability to *discern between
imagination and true psychic messages...not easy at first, but
gets easier as you go. Like developing an "intuition" on how
to ride a bicycle: once you learn how, you never really forget
the skill. And the only way you get there is by tests, trial
and error, via stress-creating crises...which ha ve recently
occurred to each of us, but are now subsiding, in preparation
for the next stress-free cycle of adventure and romance.

> Sooner or later, I will get through to them.
> Start treating us as citizens and equals, or
> face the ultimate.

My goal here, is not to inspire you to threaten our
government, or any other functionary...as that would merely
give them additional fuel for their homophobic fires. As your
psychic abilities expand, you will find yourself with powers
that mere threats could never know. We will be consciously
networked across the globe, able to make rapid and direct
influences on the entire world, or any part thereof. It is
then, and only then, we shall emerge from relative anonymity,
to claim our roles as caretakers of Planet Earth. Then shall
the human race look to its gay populace for guidance and
inspiration. And the Beast that is Homophobia shall die, never
to arise again. This is no Phoenix we're talking about honey,
this is One Bad Bitch!

More messages forthcoming, as my spirits direct. I'm not going
too fast for you, am I, Grrrrrrr? I will not be surprised when
our telepatic channels become clear as a bell, and we'll be
able to communicate that way, too...and how many other blessed
souls will be part of this angelic network by then?

---
Lavender-Velvet Revolution
http://surf.to/gaybible

=================================================== 

From: Grrrrrrr Andson

To: Beel Zebub

Subject: Re: We Are Witnesses

Date: Wed, 26 Jun 2002 19:37:23 -0400


Beel Zebub wrote:

> reach your present time, you felt, and even
> absorbed, this wave that eluded most others.
> Your spirit teachers just MIGHT be testing
> you, too see if such *apparant power would go
> to your head. Looks to me it is, a little,
> and I have been allowed to be one of the
> cards you draw on the Gameboard of Life that
> warns: "You just fell in treacherous waters
> without a life saver. Your only hope is to
> trust in Beel."

For a long time, I thought that I was just "predicting"
things, like the coup in Russia, or the mole in the CIA. I
thought for a long time that I was being used as a pawn, by
way of "mind control", innocently thrown into Cold War
psychological warfare, as a sort of messenger boy.

I had concluded that the CIA and KGB had developed hypnotic
abilities, on sleeping subjects, long before I ever confirmed
in research that they had in fact pursued this very ability.
In fact, I started out knowing nothing at all about the CIA.
There was no such phrase yet in the lexicon as "conspiracy
theorist". I had no access to internet of newsgroups. I had
read no books about the CIA. Imagine my expression when in
this pristine state of ignorance and innocence, I concluded
that the CIA must have researched sleep-hypnosis, then later
confirmed that I was right.

I puzzle over my experiences, and don't think that they could
ever be finally solved. I consider many possibilities.
Maybe it is all wild coincidence, but the odds are so
infinitesimal that this hypothesis is as outlandish as "mind
control" or "altering reality with your mind".

You may recall, there was a Princeton study showing that
people could slightly alter probability by thought alone. It
just seems that in my case, this effect is amplified by many
orders of magnitude. Perhaps the CIA was playing with me,
because they already saw that I had slight clairvoyant
tendencies. Maybe they experimented and unleashed some
potential beyond what they expected, like breaking the atom.

I sometimes think that there are extra-human intelligences
that somehow affect our world. I try to sense their nature.
If I thought that they were simply lovers of destruction and
mayhem, I would not care to cooperate with them.

My own sense is that our gay struggle is a proposition similar
to the U.S. Civil War. If there were a God, I imagine that
the God would have considered that this struggle was a test of
our very worth, even of our privilege to continue existing at
all. We would exist without slavery, and exist without that
kind of degradation of the black race, or we could simply
cease to exist, at all, and that would be one of the valid
outcomes.

If the God were reasonably competent, it would help the odds
that the outcome would be the desired one, but perhaps that is
not an absolute guarantee.

The Confederacy never would have understood this. They thought
that slavery was "God-ordained". They thoutght that Lincoln
was a tyrant, and that Yankees were hateful monsters. To
this day, many Southerners do not accept that they were on the
wrong side of that war.

In short, I do not think that these extra-human intelligences
are merely the lovers of mayhem that they might seem to people
in this place and time. They just have an entirely different
sense of morality.

> I can see why you may FEEL like you caused
> such incidents. I see things in the future,
> too, and have come to realize that it is not
> because I influence reality, but because I am
> witnessing something that has yet to be
> (relative from my viewpoint, that is). If I
> truly imagined it, then it happens...well,
> then I could say in some way that

For a long, long time, I thought I was only an observer. Only
slowly did I come around to the conclusion that I was actually
the driver, not the driven. I've actually experimented,
trying to cause some very highly improbable effects, and
succeeded dramatically. I have been immensely shocked to
come to this conclusion.

Oddly, I feel helpless at the same time. I seem to be able
to cause all sorts of mayhem, but not to bring justice.
Hopefully, it is just like watching the Civil War rage, and by
the time that all the pain is done, something will have
changed according to guidelines of how things should change.

I don't think that there is too much risk of it "going to my
head". I am firmly convinced that "prophets" are as fallible
and flawed as anyone else.

Normally, I would never talk about these things in public. It
would "discredit" and "damage credibility, just because it is
way beyond what most people can understand or accept. I do
think, though, that I am as clear-eyed and rational as they
come, even a critical skeptic more than the average citizen.
It isn't my fault if my life experiences are simply far out of
the ordinary.

Thanks for being able to be a sounding board for ideas that
may be strange-sounding, but are perfectly on-target.

Sincerely, Grrrrrrr

=================================================== 

From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Wed, 26 Jun 2002

Subject: We Are Witnesses


Grrrrrrr Andson wrote:

> The psychic phenomena, I find more difficult
> to understand. It is overwhelmingly clear
> that I am not merely predicting events, but
> am *influencing* them, by sheer mental
> projection

I believe we all influence reality, to lesser and greater
degrees, depending on how potently our psychic abilities have
progressed. But are you SURE that what you perceive as your
influence, is actually the result of YOUR doing? Perhaps you
see the future, say, a plane crash. And it comes true exactly
as you envisioned. This in itself, cannot be a claim towards
your mind influencing reality. Just because you glimpsed a
piece of the future, does not mean you created it, once it
arrives in the present time. Maybe you DID, and maybe you
didn't. You need to learn to DISCERN the differences,
here...which is a most important and basic lesson towards
learning to utilize your paranormal gifts, fully conscious and
responsible. Perhaps, though, your lesson by the spirits, is
not learning how to discern, but just EXPERIENCING the
situation, the feeling that you have such awesome power. I'm
not sure myself (as an angel-in-the-making), since that is not
my department. :)

It is QUITE possible that these powerful revelations are not
you're doing at all; but you serve as a witness to this
phenomena, as well as being a "seer" yourself. (One could make
a joke about a "seer sucker" at this point, but I won't.) It
is even possible that those visions of future events which
seem at first glance, to be your doings...upon a second
glance, are not. And those attitudes and thoughts of yours
that truly DO influence reality, are being ignored, overlooked
by the sensational. While at the same time, you are learning
about the psychic world, you are also being tested...that your
ego may develop a fine balance, a finer sensitivity than ever
before, of such paranormal incidents...that you may eventually
discern between your own true impact on the world, and that
which you foresee (though were not born of your mind).

It is ALSO possible that those more evolved than us, have
complete control over the outcome of any psychic phenomena.
And maybe some of these "guardians" play a role of evil, that
you may confront their challenges, and become even greater
than you are. Perhaps the FBI is spying on you...but not for
the reasons you think. Perhaps there is a very sincere group
of gifted people who work with the gov't, in protecting and
training psychically gifted citizens. And this may explain why
you haven't been jailed, though you have called gov't offices
numerous times with your revelatory conclusions. There may be
some within the ranks of bureacracy, who are guides (or
"angels"), that see to it that your words do not land on true
enemies' ears.

These are all possibilities to consider...which conclusions I
evolved out of my new philosophy called "NeoChristianity".
Which philosophy is to interpret all situations with the
belief that God is truly benevolent, and would never allow
tragic outcomes to really be part of the world. Many tragedies
we think occurred (or are occurring) are part of a vast,
illusory concoction for the benefit of human learning.

So please keep in mind that some whom you may interpret as
evil (or "homophobic"), may actually be spies from our side,
playing out a necessary role, in order to infiltrate, and
protect the world from REALLY falling into the hands of
madmen (or "madwomen" to give our female liberationists their
due respect and equal time. Aside: Ahhh, a truly Beelzebubian
spin-doctor bon mot). And that role, I believe, is what is
summoning us to our own fulfillment: we, too, will become
important guardians over large swaths of this planet...gay
rights at the helm.

Please consider my NEW SPIN on your experiences re. future
events foreseen. You do NOT know for sure, whether or not you
also created these events, either alone or as a contributor.
You should therefore ASSUME that you did not, until more
information comes in. To hold onto such an assumption is a
sort of trap that your ego has fallen into. In such unresolved
circumstances, you must always give it up to God and/or the
angels. For it is also a TEST, preliminary to your passage
into the next level of spiritual awareness. Even if you did
create some situations in reality, it is dangerous to ASSUME
you did, when you really don't have all the information.

I think that, as one grows spiritually, one acquires more
powers, and like a magnet, attracts more and more significant
reality-vignettes that are further lessons, and sometimes
gifts along the way. (Can you say, "Akhnaton'?) How can one
tell the difference between a reality you create with your own
mind, and one created as a gift to you (a prayer answered), by
other powerful spirits? If you can't, then it is foolish to
take the path to hubris. IOW, "'Tis better to err on the side
of humility than on arrogance'. Do not mistake this outlook as
related to Pascal's Wager in any way, shape or form; their
similarity is merely superficial.)

P.S.: Please realize the kind of "channel" or "messenger" I
am: I allow all thought that arises to speak out...including
those that claim I am this or that great savior or deity (such
as Jesus, Apollo, or Krishna...you know, the usual mainstream
archetypes). I am only allowing my voice to be used by these
beings, who then freely speak in the first person
("Eeni-meanie chili-beanie..."), as if I were that being.
Which I am not. The Kabbala teaches that such a high level of
godhead is accessible to anyone who searches for the truth
long enough, and sincerely enough. That each of us may
eventually be treated with equal respect and devotion, as the
angels treat God Himself (or Herself or--God/Goddess
forbid--ITself).

In that same manner, I believe you see future scenarios, but
you (probably) most certainly are NOT their creator. Your ego
has been seduced...as mine has been too, at times...and as has
most definitely, that of Ross Perot's and Martha Stewart's.
(Let's give the Taliban a break.)

You also need to realize that my own personal mythology enjoys
perceiving God as a gay male, in fact, my Randoph. And it
works for me! That does not mean other worldviews are not
equally valid. I believe there are lesbians honoring Goddess,
whose daughter was sacrificed for the sake of human salvation.
I believe that if God comes to you in some form other than
Randolph, that it is still totally valid, coming from your own
perceptions. The REAL God, IMO, is the OVERSEER of the entire
universe: without form, just pure spirit of consciousness that
watches over all, and protects us from going too far in a bad
direction. (This is when Randolph steps in and appears before
me with a bolt of lightnening and says, "Oh yeah?") And we
each, of course, have a direct link to this Mind. (How could
anyone NOT; it's a fact of everyone's life. Verily, I believe
that everything that EXISTS--whether animate or inanimate,
whether animal, plant or stone--is INFUSED with this Ultimate
Consciousness.)

=================================================== 

From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Thu, 27 Jun 2002

Subject: Re: We Are Witnesses

Grrrrrrr Andson wrote:

> I had no access to internet of newsgroups. I
> had read no books about the CIA. Imagine my
> expression when in this pristine state of
> ignorance and innocence, I concluded that the
> CIA must have researched sleep-hypnosis, then
> later confirmed that I was right.

Absolutely incredible, Grrrrrrr. I have access to certain
"understandings" too, that are quite secretive, esoteric and
revelatory. Some of them DO point to US gov't and military
activities. But they can dabble and research all they want:
this psychic realm is much GREATER than what they could ever
conceive...and is securely governed by beings far wiser than
they realize. It is the NATURE of this realm to value healing,
joy, compassion and all other good virtues, above all
else...and that "good" always reigns victorious over "bad", no
matter how many skirmishes seem to bely this truth.

> You may recall, there was a Princeton study
> showing that people could slightly alter
> probability by thought alone. It just seems
> that in my case, this effect is amplified by
> many orders of magnitude. Perhaps the CIA was
> playing with me, because they already saw
> that I had slight clairvoyant tendencies.
> Maybe they experimented and unleashed some
> potential beyond what they expected, like
> breaking the atom.

Well, whatever's going on, we're BOTH in this, in the same
way. I have had visions many years ago, that I was an
experiment, an android from the future, one of the first to be
given psychic abilities, albeit limited. But the scientists
underestimated the power of this realm, and the androids
dispersed of their own will, as soon as this power was granted
to them. Many travelled back in time, like myself, to help
direct the world to a better path.

It is ALSO possible that you have tapped into parallel
realities...some of which implicate directly, the involvement
by the CIA and other global police forces. And that what is
happening in OUR reality, is but a mere shadow to that
scenario. So in our world, the CIA is only partly involved in
psychic research, and bumbles more than it succeeds.

> I sometimes think that there are extra-human
> intelligences that somehow affect our world.
> I try to sense their nature. If I thought
> that they were simply lovers of destruction
> and mayhem, I would not care to cooperate
> with them.

No. We are wrapped up in human evolution, on a conscious
level, and on a chosen level. We are being used by forces
beyond our ken, for the most part. But we are beloved of these
beings, and need never fear our own annihilation, torture, or
even failure. We are "programmed for success", so to say.

> My own sense is that our gay struggle is a
> proposition similar to the U.S. Civil War. If
> there were a God, I imagine that the God
> would have considered that this struggle was
> a test of our very worth, even of our
> privilege to continue existing at all. We
> would exist without slavery, and exist
> without that kind of degradation of the black
> race, or we could simply cease to exist, at
> all, and that would be one of the valid
> outcomes.

My own belief is that there is NO QUESTION but that the human
race will succeed in the long run. I believe that our creator,
and Gaia, loves her creations too much, to allow such a
nihilistic outcome. Remember, in a very real way, we are that
being manifest in her creation, waking up to her awareness.
Why would she ever want to destroy parts of herself, even if
she could? We are her eyes to the universe. I therefore waste
no time, obsessing over possibilities of extinction or
slavery.

> If the God were reasonably competent, it
> would help the odds that the outcome would be
> the desired one, but perhaps that is not an
> absolute guarantee.

I am always amused by those who criticise our creator for
incompetency. I'd have to conclude that it is one's PERCEPTION
of God that is incompetent! I believe that God is perfectly
competent to run a highly profitable, and joyful, universe.
What miseries that are humanity's lot, are not ones suffered
by myself, or anyone I know personally. I conclude that the
truly-horrible tragedies are illusions...where no person is
really sacrificed to evil forces, but just seems that way.
Thus, we can learn life's toughest lessons through the act of
WITNESS, rather than as actual victims. Those perceived as
victims were either taken to another realm of peace, while
their APPARANT bodies and minds suffered outrageous torment.
The illusion is no less imminent, just because one also
witnesses on the most intimate of levels, another's suffering
and/or death. Do you think you are more clever than God, or
even one of her lesser angels? Gaia is truly a clever woman,
Grrrrrrr.

If one concludes that horrible tragedies really don't occur,
then one can conclude that global anti-gay attitudes are
likewise illusory. What vehemence we come to experience
ourselves, is all in a range that God knows we can
handle...and never anything more. You were bashed, yes, but
you did NOT have your skull shattered, nor were you killed. I
was bashed, too, but not injured in any serious way
whatsoever. 

Then one must conclude that life is an incredible drama ("all
the world's a stage...") that, once we wake up to it, we can
join the dance and have a helluva time for ever and ever! And
that is how I see things these days, Grrrrrrr. And I am so
ELATED that gay people have been chosen to be witness and
bearers of the fulfillment of our greatest dreams. We are
truly honored, to receive such a destiny...which of course is
yours, too. And I believe that you, me, and a handful of
others on this planet, have been selected for an incredible
mission...most of which you already know, via my previous
messages and Usenet articles.

> In short, I do not think that these
> extra-human intelligences are merely the
> lovers of mayhem that they might seem to
> people in this place and time. They just have
> an entirely different sense of morality.

I see their sense of morality as quite human, and completely
in step with my own heartfelt prayers. I think they are
putting you through extra-tough boot camp, for you are
destined to become one of the finest soldiers in
history...which I like to call "Thracian Warriors". Because
it's extra tough for the likes of you, perhaps they are
feeding you considerable misinformation (than they would a
lesser soldier), that you may figure more of it out than is
normally expected. This will give you a stronger mind and
spirit, once through this boot-camp.

I do think, though, they love to take us humans for quite a
ride, from time to time. Just because we don't have as grand a
sense of humor, as grand a sense of life, as grand a sense of
adventure...doesn't mean we have any justification for
criticising how they (or even God) do things. We just don't
have adequate knowledge! We are certainly free to criticize
God all we want, and she surely understands...for it is all
ultimately HER FAULT! If we are to condemn anyone, we should
only condemn our creator, and no lesser. Otherwise, we play
God in a most harmful way.

> For a long, long time, I thought I was only
> an observer. Only slowly did I come around to
> the conclusion that I was actually the
> driver, not the driven. I've actually
> experimented, trying to cause some very
> highly improbable effects, and succeeded
> dramatically. I have been immensely shocked
> to come to this conclusion.

Even when you've researched your situation as thoroughly as
possible, and as objectively as possible, I cannot see how you
can be so adamant that you influence reality on that level (WE
JUST DON'T HAVE THE TOOLS YET, TO MEASURE AND JUDGE SUCH
THINGS)...rather than being gifted with precognition. If a
crisis in the world comes to your mind, before it
manifests...and does many, many times...I still don't see how
you can absolutely claim that you created these scenarios.
More likely, I see this as a very potent gift of precognition,
where you OFTEN see future crises. And, it's a raw energy
until you learn how to utilize this tool for specific purposes
of saving souls...in your case, that would be with Gay
Liberation (as it is in my case, too). 

You can have many visions of the future that come true...and
in thinking of things yet to occur, you might even see a lot
of details on how it occurs, and what it looks like. You may
think you are MAKING THESE THINGS UP, which the universe then
incorporates and manifests. But I think you are being given
this detailed information, and your challenge is not just to
learn how to channel such potency, but to accede this power to
a higher, benevolent force that seeks you out as a modern-day
hero, and shaman.

If you INSIST that you really do create these scenarios, I
conclude that either (1) it is so ego-appealing, that you have
been SEDUCED into believing this, or (2) I do not have enough
information to go on, to accept your claim; while you do have
certain tools for testing that I am not privy to.

For me, if one has a prayer answered...of course, that can be
described another way: that you influenced reality. But the
key difference in the two perspectives is one of
self-aggrandizement and humility. I accept the POSSIBILITY
that you created one or more future scenarios...though I do
not really believe that analysis.

> Oddly, I feel helpless at the same time. I
> seem to be able to cause all sorts of mayhem,
> but not to bring justice. ...I am firmly
> convinced that "prophets" are as fallible and
> flawed as anyone else.

Not when you are dealing with destiny a la the paranormal.
These forces are without flaws, and when they are meant to
channel through a human or humans, they do so without error.
The only "fallible" prophets I know of, are false ones. Your
destiny is just like mine, in this matter: success is
guaranteed already, regardless of what situations along the
way appear flawed, hopeless, or downright discouraging.

> Normally, I would never talk about these
> things in public. It would "discredit" and
> "damage credibility, just because it is way
> beyond what most people can understand or
> accept.

I'm glad you have finally opened up more with me, in this
subject. I offered to converse with you on these matters, in
our original messages a few years ago. This is part of my
mission: to guide others along, as well as to be guided. I
will never share what we exchange in private, to the world at
large...without first disguising your true identity.

> I do think, though, that I am as clear-eyed
> and rational as they come, even a critical
> skeptic more than the average citizen. It
> isn't my fault if my life experiences are
> simply far out of the ordinary.

Very astute; I agree. It is VERY important that I confront
your claim to actually be co-creating these realities. I
believe there have been similar circumstances for me, but I
prefer to hold off with a similar conclusion of such power
coming directly FROM me (rather than THROUGH), until more
facts come in. I feel that--no matter how much influence one
has on shaping reality (and how directly you may be
involved)--it is always made manifest with the final say-so by
God or His Messenger(s). So in this viewpoint, there is NEVER
a case allowed, of any human creating a reality without divine
approval that decides "yea" or "nay".

So if you persist in claiming to have this ultimate power of
creation, at best I'll call it "co-creation"...and I'll still
perceive your powers as intimately guided and decided upon, by
spirits greater than ourselves.

> Thanks for being able to be a sounding board
> for ideas that may be strange-sounding, but
> are perfectly on-target.

And thank YOU for being so tolerant of MY off-the-wall
viewpoints. I'm sure that being able to speak on such a clear
level about the paranormal, is cathartic, hence healing, for
you (and myself, surely). What visions or ideas come to our
minds are the IMPORTANT things...not how they manifest, or
whether or not they seem absurd. They come to us as some sort
of message, that we must learn to read, and assimilate.

That is what I'm here for, Grrrrrrr. I will also be doing same
for others, who are about to awaken. Your sharing with me,
particular experiences of the paranormal, are conducive to my
own further growth and learning. The ONLY reason I seem so
sure about the "laws" of the paranormal, is because I must
play a role of absolute decisions and unswerving devotion to
my cause...there must be no doubt in my spirit, in order to
accomplish my worthy goals. Doubt is for times of peace;
Absolute Judgment is called for in times of war and/or
turmoil. But I am protected--on "automatic" so to speak--for
there is no way I could ever err, and create horror and misery
from my ventures. That is a given. (Imagine how WWII would
have turned out, if Churchill was not also so sure of his
decisions.)

I believe that we are entering times of crisis never before
seen on this planet. Thus, the collective unconscious is
emerging in those people who are chosen worthy of a great
calling to clean up this planet, and make a better world for
all. Gay folks have been chosen to be the vanguard. And we,
among some others, have been selected to head this vanguard.

What intrigue emerges from the CIA and other questionable
organizations and people...will only facilitate our actions
toward victory. Though some confrontations might seem to
negate this, in the short run. Besides, to have The Great
Adventure, God's gotta toss in some enemies now and then, eh?
You HERO, you!

P.S: Perhaps the CIA has brainwashed me, to believe in this
Great Picture, while all the while it is merely their
mind-control manipulations from a sleek console. ;) (Know
what I say to that? "God bless 'em!" Then I whip out my M-16.)

---
Lavender-Velvet Revolution
http://surf.to/gaybible


=================================================== 

From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Sat, 29 Jun 2002

Subject: We Are Witnesses


Grrrrrrr Andson wrote:

> I puzzle over my experiences, and don't think
> that they could ever be finally solved. I
> consider many possibilities. Maybe it is all
> wild coincidence, but the odds are so
> infinitesimal that this hypothesis is as
> outlandish as "mind control" or "altering
> reality with your mind".

Okay. So after I met Randolph, is when all this weird stuff
started happening to me. That was 1985. MANY visions that
year, all year long. Hypnosis induced hallucinations?
Telepathy? Mind Control. Randolph was approached by the FBI
during his 40-day fast, and I'm sure he was under close watch
after he shot himself by The Wall. And that was when I got
close to him: when I flew out to D.C. to be with him at the
VAMC hospital.

So. They probably are very aware of me, and have "big plans"
as a weapon to defeat our "enemies". Who? The Taliban. Cuba.
UnamerikanHomosexuals. Nah, I'm just playing out the paranoid
scenario. I prefer to play it out as I earlier described: that
some "good" folks infiltrated these groups, and are training
us for a noble calling. Paranoia can be fun, like a
roller-coaster...but when it comes to "Truth Sailing", I fly
with the best.

> For a long, long time, I thought I was only
> an observer. Only slowly did I come around to
> the conclusion that I was actually the
> driver, not the driven.

Now, let's say that you DO possess this marvelous power of
co-creation (which I may too, but I remain skeptical). And you
say you can only empower tragic, violent events. You don't
seem to have the ability to channel this potent force via
gentle-yet-powerful ways. That is, if I understand you
correctly. Now, my major goal right now, is to seek out and
network, other psychically gifted gay men and women...so that
we can support each other, and come up with ways to use this
bounteous energy for the sake of Gay Liberation.

So let's find a way to engage this apparantly-VIOLENT psychic
force towards the fulfillment of gay rights...doing our best
to trick this energy into creating a gentler force while
believing it is still violent. How does one go about this?

Well, if all you can do is make things crash and blow
up...we'll need to find a target that will destroy material
things without hurting any living things. One way to do this,
is find out which potential targets are unoccupied (such as
abandoned buildings, or structures cleared out for a period of
the day or night, or non-inhabitable monuments or landmarks).
Of course, the chaos must also be utilized to heighten the
awareness of the world, to our gay spirit. Perhaps not, if a
secretive method is suggested by our spirit guides
(overlords?). 

I'll leave it to you, Grrrrrrr, to come up with a location or
building or whatever, that you could have blown up w/o
injuring any human or animal. Maybe a church that is empty at
3am, which is recognized for its especial hatred against gays.
Or a redneck monument so sacred to the breadbasket idiots. I
don't know; you surely can come up with a great target. Then,
try to focus your energies into some sort of accident or
confrontation that would create a huge explosion. The
aftermath of such a catastrophe should have the quality of
advancing gay rights globally, in a way that will create
admiration in the eyes of many who might have become our
enemies, or even who were enemies up till that moment. I'm a
big fan of "psychological terrorism", by the way...bloodless
while losing none of its impact.

When you got this worked out, you might want to report to me,
your plan of attack. Then I'll just sit back and keep an eye
on the news for the next few days (or weeks).

P.S.: The crash in D.C. that you predicted, as part of the
9/11 tragedy, did contribute to accelerating the issue of gay
rights, particularly as regards the Muslim and Arab worlds.
Also, the issue of survivor benefits for domestic partners.
And: who heroes are (some gay). And maybe it happened because
of me: I had some months earlier prayed (in a joking fashion)
that God find some other minority to pick on, as a replacement
for scapegoating gays. So this is how he turned the focus from
faggots to A-rabs, in one or two strong punches. Maybe we
*both created that scenario! Maybe there were others! Do you
think you'd wanna meet them?

---
Lavender-Velvet Revolution
http://surf.to/gaybible

=================================================== 

From: Grrrrrrr Andson

To: Beel Zebub

Subject: Re: We Are Witnesses

Date: Thu, 27 Jun 2002 22:06:04 -0400


Beel Zebub wrote:

> So let's find a way to engage this
> apparantly-VIOLENT psychic force towards the
> fulfillment of gay rights...doing our best to
> trick this energy into creating a gentler
> force while believing it is still violent.
> How does one go about this?
>
> Well, if all you can do is make things crash
> and blow up...we'll need to find a target
> that will destroy material things without
> hurting any living things. One way to do
> this, is find out which potential targets are
> unoccupied (such as abandoned buildings, or
> structures cleared out for a period of the
> day or night, or non-inhabitable monuments or
> landmarks). Of course, the chaos must also be
> utilized to heighten the awareness of the
> world, to our gay spirit. Perhaps not, if a
> secretive method is suggested by our spirit
> guides (overlords?).

I've often thought of trying to do something more positive
with this ability, if it is an ability. I'm not sure if I
have that much control over it. There was movie called
"Forbidden Planet", supposed based on Shakespeare's "Tempest",
that had a theme about "Monsters of the Id". Mental effects
on reality were caused at a subconscious level.

It is a bit like that- there is a slight degree of conscious
control, but much of it is unconscious.

If I hadn't seen these "magical" phenomena, I probably would
have been a total atheist by now, believing that creation is
random and ultimately meaningless. I still find it very
difficult to believe that the misery and violence in the world
could be "necessary", or compensated adequately, if existence
had much of a point to it.

Primitive people used to look at the sky and imagine "heaven"
there, thinking it is was a realm of only light. We know now
that the reality out there is much like the reality here- in
the sky is dirt . and stone and dust.

I believe that if earth is this flawed, then Heaven must be
flawed as well. God must be a mysterious, incomprehensible,
incompetent, screwed-up jerk.

It seems like an uplifting notion to assume that violence is
always "wrong". It seems so obvious, that we don't question
it.

When we don't question, is sometimes how we get led most
astray.

God threatens us with the violence of Hell, if we don't
behave, according to Christians. Should we tell God that we
refuse to be moved by violent threats?

Our Founding Fathers "resorted to violence." We just don't
use that terminology. We should not allow ourselves to be
conditioned that state-sanction violence is "proper", while
violence by an oppressed minority against a an opressive
government is "terrorism." It is horrifying how many people
think that way, without realizing the chains of their own
psychological conditioning. Such is the power of state.

What if the abolitionists had been perfectly *horrified* at
the thought of "using violence" to end slavery? Some of them
were, you know. Do you think that slavery would have ended,
by "reasoning" with the South?

I think that the answer is a resounding "No". I think that
if history had gone differently, we might today complain that
we were the last civilized country in the world who still had
slavery, just as we complain that we are one of the few
civilized countries that still has death penality. Most
people can't picture that, but I can.

I don't necessarily agree that even apocalyptic violence would
be "wrong". Nonviolent change is always *preferred*, but
only when it is possible. Most people cannot gauge what is
possible. They live on wishful thinking. They seek
"approval". They would sell themselves short, just as the
non-violent abolitionists might have done, if they had a
chance.

I see in this country an Alabama judge who is acting much like
a Nazis, clearly hinting that gays should be put to death.
There was almost no national reaction. The "liberal" Boston
Globe didn't even print it.

It was this thought on my mind, that made me retort angrily at
the bigot hikers, instead of walking away. The hikers, too,
show that hate and bigotry permeate our culture, so much to
the marrow, that you can't get away from it, even in the most
remote corners.

I think that it is an insight to realize that this situation
is too far gone to resolve itself without people dying over
it. Somone once said, the past isn't gone, it isn't even
past. It is no coincidence that this judge is in Alabama.
The year is still 1865.

I stare long and hard at pictures of soldiers in the Civil
War, emaciated skeletons in POW camps, like in WWII, men with
stumps for legs and hooks for hands. I wonder to myself if
such butchery could ever really serve a righteous cause.

I can't settle that question. Sometimes, I think that we live
in a godless butchershop, with little point. Sometimes, I
think that despite all the human scale of horror, these are
events that have a necessity. I like to think that I am not
simply naive or indifferent to the magnitude of the suffering
and cost.

I believe that Lincoln was like that, too. I suggest that
you reread the Gettysburg address, sometime. It is really
quite interesting and worthwhile reading.

It would be sad to sabotage a nuclear reactor in Alabama and
take out a large chunk of the state, with my mind. However,
as incomprensible as this would be to most people, I believe
that it could be a necessity that makes compelling sense from
a clearer, future perspective.

My understanding of the necessity of these things is maybe why
extra-human intelligence may have "helped" me to achieve such
effects. Most people, even "radicals", do not have the
perspective to realize that the year is really 1865. They
are conditioned to feel that these are "civilized' times, in a
"decent, free country".

So, too, did the Confederacy think of itself. Very refined,
very courteous, possessed of courage and noble dignity.

How very different was the real truth.

I can say that I would try to make justice happen as kindly
and gently as is possible. I'm also prepared to make justice
happen with full-blown war, as brutal as necessary. If most
of the population of the earth disappeared in the process,
that is not too extreme to consider. The outcome is
non-negotiable. We will live without subclasses living in
this type of degradation, or else we can cease to live, at
all. We are in a struggle for our right to existence,
itself.

I believe that this would be the "iron will" of God, if there
were one.

Sincerely, Grrrrrrr

=================================================== 

From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Sat, 30 Jun 2002

Subject: We Are Witnesses


Grrrrrrr Andson wrote:

> I've often thought of trying to do something
> more positive with this ability, if it is an
> ability. I'm not sure if I have that much
> control over it.

I decided to let a few days pass, while my responses here,
could simmer in my brain. First off: it is absurd for me to
make any assumption that you HAVEN'T done all sorts of things
to try to use this energy more consciously. But you do seem to
have a particular blind spot when it comes to your perception
of "God"...as if the only real definition of Our Creator, were
that he must be a god that allows all sorts of violence and
mayhem to befuddle the human race. But, being the highly
intelligent person you obviously are...I can't believe that
you really adhere to such a limited view; that you're not
actually just TESTING my own responses. Be that as it may, I
will cover this further, when you finally scroll down far
enough, to one of your relevant quotes that brings up this
matter.

> It is a bit like that- there is a slight
> degree of conscious control, but much of it
> is unconscious.

Okay, so you believe this phenomena is a direct result of your
own internal imaging...which is mostly subconscious, though
not controllable. I would say then, that, if true, you are a
"conduit" so to speak, for this force. And it may not be for
you to learn how to direct more consciously, and specifically.
I conclude, then, that this very energy--which has its own
intelligence--will soon get around to enabling a much more
conscious level of participation. Which would therefore
suggest that you are NOT so much the sole creator of these
particular realities, but a witness to the very fact you are
being utilized by this energy...albeit benevolent (though
perhaps not obviously so at this point).

Obviously, I still believe that you are CONVINCED that the
origin of such phenomena comes from your own mind (when it
really isn't). I say that you were CHOSEN to be a conduit for
such power, which allows you at this time, to believe you
create it...as a form of testing and observation, as a
preparation for your eventual ABSORPTION of this energy into
your conscious sphere. If I turn the ignition key in a car, I
could say that *I* started this car, and no one else. Which is
true...up to a point. But who created the technology that
allows me to start a key with a simple key-turn in the first
place? That was not the result of MY intelligence, but of
another's.

> If I hadn't seen these "magical" phenomena, I
> probably would have been a total atheist by
> now, believing that creation is random and
> ultimately meaningless.

To me, such a viewpoint ("creation is random and ultimately
meaningless") is as dogmatic and fundamentalist, as the
supposedly-"opposite" viewpoint that their particular God
grants them the last word on homosexuality (for example).
Likewise, I have met my share of bigoted, anti-gay atheists in
my life. Also, many people don't seem to be using the word
"atheist" properly...believing they truly are atheist, when
they actually DO believe in the spirit world; not just the
kind that Christians (or Christian Fundamentalists) believe
in. They've twisted the word "atheist" to mean
"non-Judaeo-Christian", rather than the more general belief in
no god or gods, or any other manifestations of a so-called
spiritual dimension.

> I still find it very difficult to believe
> that the misery and violence in the world
> could be "necessary", or compensated
> adequately, if existence had much of a point
> to it.

Okay, here's the quote I'm focusing on: your statement here,
that implies that all miseries in our history actually
occurred, and thus we have a cruel, ignorant God for allowing
such things to happen to innocent folks. That is a big
fallacy, in my own take on life as I have come to view it. And
I had hoped you'd have caught on to my philosophy, after
turning you on to my essay, "NeoChristianity". Either I need
to say it in other words, or you are just goading me to
develop a more simple way to describe, that will reach the
masses better. Apparantly, part of Cassandra's Curse remains
with me still, which puts me in situations where I can
describe something with perfect clarity, yet minutes later the
person I addressed doesn't even remember the important points
I made. So here goes again:

So if such tragic, miserable events obviously seem to occur
(like the Holocaust and volcanic explosions: one, an example
of man-made tragedy, the second, of natural
disturbance)...then how can I believe in a benevolent creator?
Well, there are two points here. The first being that perhaps
we are much stronger in the long run than we realize...and,
once in Heaven, these tragedies that were part of our earliest
evolution (and now over with) are seen as "not so big a deal"
when compared to our eternal bliss that comes after these
tough learning lessons. It is this philosophy that does not
satisfy me, so I came up with a new spin on it.

I DO believe in a supremely benevolent creator, who does NOT
allow such unimaginable atrocities to really exist. God's
pretty powerful, mind you, and is quite capable of creating
whatever illusion he so chooses, including "mass
hallucinations". So he has us "tricked" into thinking that,
not only is suffering part and parcel of our lives (along with
joy, etc.), but so is UNLIMITED, HORRENDOUS SUFFERING, with
which our history is pock-marked. I believe the worst
tragedies and suffering were STAGED, not real, to benefit all
of us as witnesses to such sad events, without ever requiring
any person to truly experience such unbridled torment.

For even if all of us go to heaven (which I believe), and no
one is eternally damned, I don't see how anyone could truly
feel heaven in his heart, just to KNOW that such horrid
suffering was once experienced by some humans, including
perhaps those he most dearly loves. Such a knowledge leaves a
heavy sorrow in one's heart AS LONG AS ONE BELIEVES IT REALLY
HAPPENED. But if one discovers unequivocally, that those worst
scenerious NEVER REALLY OCCURRED, then one may drop one's
stone of sorrow into the Lake of Forgiveness, for it was not
meant for you, or anyone, to wear forever.

If you say, "What do you mean? I was there, I saw it with my
own eyes"...then one is not accepting of the possibility that
God is cleverer than anyone else, and could also create a
totally convincing illusion...even when run through scientific
analyses. For God is greater than our science, and always will
be...for science is the study of our material universe, which
was put here by a benevolent intelligence, which must
therefore be GREATER than any of our own minds or
technologies. And this will never change, no matter how
advanced a primate we become!

If you accept my own spin on human tragedy--that the worst
events were faked, and not real--then you no longer have a
world where incredible atrocities are ALLOWED to occur. They
are NOT, because my God is TRULY BENEVOLENT. The worst
scenarios are therefore FAKED, as the best way for us to learn
such lessons, without ever truly harming anyone. And (also)
therefore: existence has very much a POINT to it...if by your
definition (to have a point), life must not allow needless
suffering, ever. 

And it doesn't. You, however, have been gloriously duped. And
you then PERSIST in defining God as terribly brutal (if he
exists), because you are adamant that all the findings about
life are in (at least in your world), and there is no possible
way you'll ever have any different interpretation than you do
now. Ergo, God is imperfect, a mess even, and not only ALLOWS
horrors to go unabated, but CREATES SOME OF THEM, TOO. This is
all fallacy, IMO.

> Primitive people used to look at the sky and
> imagine "heaven" there, thinking it is was a
> realm of only light. We know now that the
> reality out there is much like the reality
> here- in the sky is dirt . and stone and
> dust.

First of all, this is the standard, old "Science has taken the
romance out of life" hypothesis. You relegate dirt, stone, and
dust, as no more vital than garbage, because you see them as
lifeless lumps. That perception is merely cerebral hubris (if
i may coin a term). You are superior, and more complex, than a
rock, eh? When you study the components of such an object
under microscopic lenses, you'll find a plethora of incredible
things to astound you. The wonder is still all there, just on
a more realistic plane. So I don't find the universe any less
romantic, for all the dirt, stone and dust out there. I find
it still intriguing, wonderful, adventurous, and benevolent.
It is your own mind that accepts such a superficial definition
of dirt/stone/dust, which then expects all your readers to go
along with you. But I for one, do not. Yeah, the moon is made
of "just" rock. Well, it's still romantic to me, and probably
to many others not bogged down with old stereotypes of
creation and its inventor.

> I believe that if earth is this flawed, then
> Heaven must be flawed as well. God must be a
> mysterious, incomprehensible, incompetent,
> screwed-up jerk.

If you accept the Judaeo-Christian-Muslim god, then I can see
why you reach this conclusion. But why should you tag this
defintion on our Creator, when He existed long, long before
such narrow beliefs were cultivated to control the masses by
evil warlords? Cannot your mind wrap itself around a God who
is benevolent, and who merely STAGES great horrors, for our
lessons...instead of actually letting them come true? Do you
think any technology we have, could ever uncover these
fantastic illusions, until our Creator so decides we can have
them revealed? I think the only way to reach such a conclusion
is with the greatest gift God has given us all: the mind.
Philosophy is the father of ALL sciences, mind you.

> God threatens us with the violence of Hell,
> if we don't behave, according to Christians.
> Should we tell God that we refuse to be moved
> by violent threats?

God never has threatened anyone with Hell, Grrrrrrr (or any
other horrible outcome). This is only some people's
interpretation of the kind of character God is. I don't
believe in that kind of God. But that doesn't mean I don't
believe in God. This is the mistake some ex-Christians make:
that rejecting their horrid God they grew up with, means they
must reject ANY belief in a god. That is, as they used to say:
"Throwing the baby out with the bath water." Giving up belief
in a God, just because you don't like the dogma about him
perpetrated by ignorant folks, is every bit as superficial a
conclusion as the very fundamentlists themselves (whom you
reject). There are plenty of OTHER belief systems, which don't
buy into a malevolent God, and which pretty much reach similar
conclusions as myself: that he is truly benevolent, and that
what suffering we may know, is never more than each of us can
manage. And if that last part of the previous sentence is
true, then one must conclude that the worst-case scenarios
played out on the stage of human history, have all been PHONY.

> What if the abolitionists had been perfectly
> *horrified* at the thought of "using
> violence" to end slavery? Some of them were,
> you know. Do you think that slavery would
> have ended, by "reasoning" with the South?

I am not arguing whether or not violence has ever played a
vital role to an oppressed people's freedom. Surely, it has.
But I wouldn't classify those forms of upheaval as
violent...for they were solely in self defense, when a group
of innocent people are under attack by a majority, or by those
wielding power. True violence, to me, is when a person who is
motivated by malicious intent, acts out the decimation of
another person. But to react by protecting yourself or one you
love, could not in my book, ever be declared an act of
violence...instead, I'd call it an act of
self-preservation...a strategy that is righteous, and
sometimes most successful.

> It was this thought on my mind, that made me
> retort angrily at the bigot hikers, instead
> of walking away. The hikers, too, show that
> hate and bigotry permeate our culture, so
> much to the marrow, that you can't get away
> from it, even in the most remote corners.

That is a very astute conclusion, Grrrrrrr. And, happily, I
see more and more gays complaining in the same fashion: so OUR
PEOPLE ARE WAKING UP, FINALLY! What both you and I have
described as the enemy's tactics and mentality, are now being
addressed posthaste, over and over again, in all our gay
newspapers. Once enough gays have AWAKENED, we will unite into
an overwhelming force, that shall make use of "paranormal"
abilities to effect our victory. And, sure, some things will
"blow up" in the process. I just like to think that we who
possess such gifts, focus on the entire "explosion" happening
only in the psychic plane, never spilling over into reality.

And that is how things shall pass, as I put my entire faith in
our Creator. He will see to it, that your powers are never
misplaced. So it is not for me to "persuade" you to some new
line of thought...but to show you that your conclusions are
not airtight, and that I, as brother in spirit and comrade in
arms, have a responsibility to inform you of my OWN opinions
regarding serious matters.

I have complete confidence in your gifts, that they shall
expand and sort themselves out, and grant you much more
effective ways to impress the world, and gain our freedoms.
Perhaps your stirring outrage every day (along with mine, and
who knows how many others), have already begun creating these
explosions...and thus why we now see wrongs being righted, re.
Enron, Martha Stewart, Ross Perot, etc. And they are mostly
psychic explosions (with a few startling exceptions)...which
change our awareness, hopefully elevating it. I know that your
forces shall come together in surprising and fulfilling
ways...it seems to me that you are ready to make that
breakthrough. And I am also sure that you, me, and other
chosen gays around the world, will unite our forces and change
the world TO OUR LIKING.

> I stare long and hard at pictures of soldiers
> in the Civil War, emaciated skeletons in POW
> camps, like in WWII, men with stumps for legs
> and hooks for hands. I wonder to myself if
> such butchery could ever really serve a
> righteous cause.

As a lesson for those who witness: compassion is always the
way. I do not believe such atrocities really occurred to any
human. I believe that these people had their souls taken to
heaven before such horrors began. That angels entered their
bodies, and like good actors, went through the throes of
torture and dying. You know the saying "Don't believe
everything you read"? Well, I think that ALSO applies to
everything you see, hear, taste, touch and smell...of which
"reading" is but a small facet.

> I can't settle that question. Sometimes, I
> think that we live in a godless butchershop,
> with little point. Sometimes, I think that
> despite all the human scale of horror, these
> are events that have a necessity. I like to
> think that I am not simply naive or
> indifferent to the magnitude of the suffering
> and cost.

See what I just wrote above. To persist in believing in a
perverted God, an unjust universe...will only plug up your
free flow of ideas, and efforts to better this world on behalf
of gay folks. It is like an albatross hanging from your neck.
You don't really need it!

> I believe that Lincoln was like that, too. I
> suggest that you reread the Gettysburg
> address, sometime. It is really quite
> interesting and worthwhile reading.

"We are met on a great battle-field of that war." That phrase
will someday apply to the global anti-gay holocaust coming
down upon us now, once our victory is sealed for all time, and
we have our own nation.

> It would be sad to sabotage a nuclear reactor
> in Alabama and take out a large chunk of the
> state, with my mind. However, as
> incomprensible as this would be to most
> people, I believe that it could be a
> necessity that makes compelling sense from a
> clearer, future perspective.

This may or may not be part of God's plan. But how do we deal
with the competition, which also has vested interests in
taking out our gov't, and which themselves are virulantly
homophobic? Of course, this includes Muslim extremists. Oh,
well, that is not for me to worry about. If I had to take care
of ALL problems, I'd really go insane! These things will
evolve of their own accord, as I am sure will your raw psychic
powers. I think you're in for some nice surprises, Grrrrrrr.
And not just because you've earned them a zillion times over,
Good Soldier!

> The outcome is non-negotiable. We will live
> without subclasses living in this type of
> degradation, or else we can cease to live, at
> all. We are in a struggle for our right to
> existence, itself.
>
> I believe that this would be the "iron will"
> of God, if there were one.

I concur. However, God's "iron will" is not the entire
picture, just one of the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. I have
given you some counter arguments, that you may consider points
that perhaps never occurred to you, which may be of some help.
But this is my own philosophy, for you to incorporate or not.
Take what you will from it, and leave the rest.

For all in all: our victory for Gay Liberation is secured,
thanks to good people like you, in this world.

---
Lavender-Velvet Revolution
http://surf.to/gaybible

=================================================== 

From: Grrrrrrr Andson

To: Beel Zebub

Subject: Re: We Are Witnesses

Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 21:44:06 -0400


Beel Zebub wrote:

> I decided to let a few days pass, while my
> responses here, could simmer in my brain.
> First off: it is absurd for me to make any
> assumption that you HAVEN'T done all sorts of
> things to try to use this energy more
> consciously. But you do seem to have a
> particular blind spot when it comes to your
> perception of "God"...as if the only real
> definition of Our Creator, were that he must
> be a god that allows all sorts of violence
> and mayhem to befuddle the human race. But,
> being the highly intelligent

What do you believe about the Holocaust? Did it serve a
purpose of God's, or was it simply something that all-Powerful
God was unable to prevent?

There were atrocities such as Nazis swinging an infant by the
heels and bashing out its brains against a tree? Was the
infant paying for some collective crime? Why did similar
infants not have equally horrible fates?

If it is all OK because the infant would spend a wonderful
eternity in Heaven, what is the necessity or benefit of having
the infant spend a few short years of Hell, first? Did it
learn a lesson from it? Did it experience personal growth?

I believe the statement that a philosopher once made: to the
degree that you imagine God to be benevolent, you must imagine
God to be incompetent. To the degree that you imagine God to
be competent, you must imagine God to be malevolent.

I find it difficult to reconcile my doubts about God's
existence with the "magic" that I've seen. I really don't
know what it all means.

I suspect that at a minimum, Heaven is flawed, not perfect.

> Okay, so you believe this phenomena is a
> direct result of your own internal
> imaging...which is mostly subconscious,
> though not controllable. I would say then,
> that, if true, you are a "conduit" so to
> speak, for this force. And it may not be for
> you to learn how to direct more consciously,
> and specifically. I conclude, then, that this
> very energy--which has its own
> intelligence--will soon get around to
> enabling a much more conscious level of
> participation. Which would therefore suggest
> that you are NOT so much the sole creator of
> these particular realities, but a witness to
> the very fact you are being utilized by this
> energy...albeit benevolent (though perhaps
> not obviously so at this point).

The theory of this phenomenon that sounds truest was put
forward by the cartoonist, Scott Adams. He believes that it
has to do with quantum-parallel universes, where all
possibilities play themselves out. He thinks that human
consciousness can select which track of reality to proceed
down, like throwing a switch that reroutes a train down a
different track.

In that case, it isn't a "power", per se, that is necessarily
better than anyone else's. If you pick the right track, it
merely seems that way. It is like having a million people,
all of whom can perceive that the moon is "following them",
like a special friend. It is really an illusion.

It is similar to the way that you "create" your own dreams,
but you still not the "master" or "god" of them, because they
can still be nightmares, outside your control, even though it
is your brain creating them.

> To me, such a viewpoint ("creation is random
> and ultimately meaningless") is as dogmatic
> and fundamentalist, as the supposedly-
> "opposite" viewpoint that their

Beliefs are dogmatic only when you imagine that they couldn't
possibly be wrong, and there are no other alternatives. I'm
keenly aware of all the possible alternatives: it could be
wild coincidence, it could be mental illness, it could be an
intelligent, normal person getting fooled by misleading
psychological circumstances, maybe the media or government
plays practical jokes on me for their amusement, maybe God is
on my side, maybe the Devil is in me, maybe advanced aliens
are playing with the human race, maybe life is a dream and I
am really in hospital bed.

> Okay, here's the quote I'm focusing on: your
> statement here, that implies that all
> miseries in our history actually occurred,
> and thus we have a cruel, ignorant God for
> allowing such things to happen to innocent
> folks. That is a big fallacy, in my own take
> on life as I have come to view it. And I had
> hoped you'd have caught on to my philosophy,
> after turning you on to my essay,
> "NeoChristianity". Either I need to say it in
> other words, or you are just goading me to
> develop a more simple way to describe, that
> will reach the masses better. Apparantly,
> part of Cassandra's Curse remains with me
> still, which puts me in situations where I
> can describe something with perfect clarity,
> yet minutes later the person I addressed
> doesn't even remember the important points I
> made. So here goes again:
>
> So if such tragic, miserable events obviously
> seem to occur (like the Holocaust and
> volcanic explosions: one, an example of
> man-made tragedy, the second, of natural
> disturbance)...then how can I believe in a
> benevolent creator? Well, there are two
> points here. The first being that perhaps we
> are much stronger in the long run than we
> realize...and, once in Heaven, these
> tragedies that were part of our earliest
> evolution (and now over with) are seen as
> "not so big a deal" when compared to our
> eternal bliss that comes after these tough
> learning lessons. It is this philosophy that
> does not satisfy me, so I came up with a new
> spin on it.

I wrote my earlier questions before I read your answer here.
But again: what lesson is learned by a brutalized infant?
Must God brutalize infants just to teach the rest of us a
lesson? How could such a benevolent and powerful God not
have kinder and gentler ways of inspiring our hearts? Why
would he not make his mind and intentions known by direct
mind-to-mind contact?

> I DO believe in a supremely benevolent
> creator, who does NOT allow such unimaginable
> atrocities to really exist. God's pretty
> powerful, mind you, and is quite capable of
> creating whatever illusion he so chooses,
> including "mass hallucinations". So he has us
> "tricked" into thinking that, not only is
> suffering part and parcel of our lives (along
> with joy, etc.), but so is UNLIMITED,
> HORRENDOUS SUFFERING, with which our history
> is pock-marked. I believe the worst tragedies
> and suffering were STAGED, not real, to
> benefit all of us as witnesses to such sad
> events, without ever requiring any person to
> truly experience such unbridled torment.

I've known Holocaust survivors who thought they were real, and
seemed to be real. I've seen too much tragedy in my life-
people dying young of AIDS, a 26 year-old cousin hit by a
drunk driver, the miserable times that many hated, oppressed
gays have, to think that tragedy is not real.

I wish that you are right, but I cannot personally believe so
optimistically, right now.

> And it doesn't. You, however, have been
> gloriously duped. And you then PERSIST in
> defining God as terribly brutal (if he
> exists), because you are adamant that all

Terribly brutal? Do you think that Abraham Lincoln was a
terribly brutal man? Many Southerners thought so. I do not
think that he was brutal at all.

Angry as I am, I believe that neither am I.

Would you rather see a world where the Civil War was never
fought? Are you sure? What would that world look like?

I would rather see a Holocaust of gays on the scale of the
Holocaust of the Jews, if it meant that one day we would live
in a world where the new Pope was apologizing to us, instead
of a world where an exalted, adored Pope was contemptuously
declaring how "evil", we were,

If there is any meaning in something like the Holocaust,
*that* is the meaning. The Jews may not have a secure
homeland, but at least they have a homeland. Gays have no
country really to call their own. Jews may have have
conquered antiSemitism in the uncivilized Middle East, but
they have largely conquered it in the civilized West.

> I am not arguing whether or not violence has
> ever played a vital role to an oppressed
> people's freedom. Surely, it has. But I
> wouldn't classify those forms of upheaval as
> violent...for they were solely in self
> defense, when a group of innocent people are
> under attack by a majority, or by those
> wielding power. True violence, to me, is when
> a person who is motivated by malicious
> intent, acts out the decimation of another
> person. But to react by protecting yourself
> or one you love, could not in my book, ever
> be declared an act of violence...instead, I'd
> call it an act of self-preservation...a
> strategy that is righteous, and sometimes
> most successful.

What is the standard? Must one be threatened with immediate,
physical harm in order to constitute "defense", or is denial
of human dignity sufficient?

The slaves were not being murdered? What if there were not
even being beaten? Is it so bad to be made to work?
Necessity forces nearly all of us to work, even if we are
"free". Work is not a bad thing?

Or is it merely the idea that some people are worth so much
less than others, that they are "owned" at all, even if
"benevolently" owned, that justifies violence to change the
situation.

The slaves even in Alabama did not have judges declaring that
they were evil, and despicable, and aborrent, and worthy of
prison/death. Who is more degraded?

I believe that it isn't economic and material consideration
that most constitutes human degradation. It is human
attitudes. I believe that a certain level of dehumanzing
attitude is unacceptable, and the the right to be free of
dehumanization trumps the right of belief.

I would care if I were standing alone in this entire world on
that sentiment. I would believe it, if not another human soul
on earth supported or agreed.

> will "blow up" in the process. I just like to
> think that we who possess such gifts, focuse
> on the entire "explosion" happening only in
> the psychic plane, never spilling over into
> reality.
>
> And that is how things shall pass, as I put
> my entire faith in our Creator. He will see
> to it, that your powers are never misplaced.
> So it is not for me to "persuade" you to

If there is a Creator who assists in these powers, I think
that he would be doing so because I were seeing clearly, like
a man from the future who sees that the truth is the opposite
of what nearly everyone assumes without question.

> I have complete confidence in your gifts,
> that they shall expand and sort themselves
> out, and grant you much more effective ways
> to impress the world, and gain our

Thanks. I hope that we can debate without growing impatient.

If there is a Creator, we will not go wrong, either with peace
or war, at least not for our cause, which is much larger than
us. Our personal failings would be irrelevant to the cause
itself.

If there is no intelligent Creator, then nothing really
matters.

Sincerely, Grrrrrrr

=================================================== 

From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Tue, 02 Jul 2002 12:36:15 -0700

Subject: Re: We Are Witnesses


Grrrrrrr Andson wrote:

> What do you believe about the Holocaust?

Well, if you think about my "NeoChristian" philosophy, you'll
conclude that I don't believe that the holocaust ever
happened. So instead of rehash, I'll just quote from that
essay:

---begin quote:

Applying my new quasi-pagan philosophy of "NeoChristianity" to
The Holocaust, I have to conclude that the neo-Nazis are
correct in claiming that it never actually occurred. Granted,
I'm approaching this from a different direction than Nazis,
but the outcome is the same: there was no real holocaust. As I
said earlier, God would never let any of his children suffer
such horrors of war; that he'd first remove the souls from any
bodies about to undergo great torment. And surely, this
Holocaust qualifies as an experience too horrible for any
human to deserve, or endure. (This also applies to the Vietnam
War, which I will touch upon a little later.)...

Then I understood certain other aspects about neo-Nazism. For
one, I have the philosophy that there is no death or
unspeakable suffering. So now, knowing or believing what I do,
how could I ever honestly tell a neo-Nazi that he is 100%
wrong? Based on my philosophy, I have to admit that they are
right on at least one vital issue: the Holocaust never really
happened, in the way most people think it did.

---end of quote

> Did it serve a purpose of God's, or was it
> simply something that all-Powerful God was
> unable to prevent?

Of course it served a purpose, or it would never have
occurred. God did not prevent the holocaust, for there was no
need to. He made sure that no undue suffering occurred to any
soul victimized by this tragedy. The purpose served, of
course, is for all surviving people to learn compassion for
the Jews, and for others deemed non-Christian, pagan, or even
"other". Another lesson is "this is what happens when people
of the world do not unite, but instead divide and fight
amongst each other."

---More quoting:

So I think some neo-Nazis revere Hitler as some Satanists
honor Satan: that in his willfully playing the role of evil,
many of us were provided the opportunity to become heroes, by
challenging this demon. Not that you should actually do
anything that Satan (or Hitler) says, but that you should
respect his role in the scheme of things. Without evil in this
world, there would be no chance for us to be tested, and
offered many chances to become a true hero. Now, by God's
mimicking of great atrocities, he averts such actual, horrid
suffering; while at the same time makes us believe it really
occurs to such an extreme, in order that we may learn the
lessons of compassion and courage.

As a result of the lessons of WWII--this challenge thrown in
our faces by Hitler's Nazis--we now have a vibrant European
culture evolving the most progressive forms of democracies the
world has ever seen. So I believe that I have found a handle
on respecting at least one important aspect of our
contemporary neo-Nazis. And if the German people at large took
up this sense of respect, it is more likely that the neo-Nazis
will listen better to the points of view coming from the other
side, and thereby defuse what could become a dangerous
precedent, and repetition of Nazi terror.

---end of more quoting

You might want to really read my "NeoChristianity" essay: for
I have answered all your questions already, in that essay. I
covered all questions people would ask, in anticipation of
these queries.

  NeoChristianity
  http://gay-bible.0catch.com/neochrist.htm


> There were atrocities such as Nazis swinging
> an infant by the heels and bashing out its
> brains against a tree? Was the infant paying
> for some collective crime? Why did similar
> infants not have equally horrible fates?

Well, I already answered your questions in a previous, recent
message...that such atrocities didn't really occur...at
least,not without first taking these souls aways from such
horrors. If any continued to apparantly suffer, that was for
the benefit of us witnesses. An angelic spirit had already
possessed this body (with the innocent soul already removed),
to act out the torment. And these answers to such questions
were already present in essay "NeoChristianity." Here's one
more quote:

---begin quote:

I refuse to believe in a Creator who'd allow such evil to
really occur. This includes babies being victims of war. Thus,
in so refusing, I have developed a philosophy that effectively
gives us back a loving God, without distorting events or
denigrating the noble history of the Jews or any other people.

Visiting a Nazi death camp will not change my mind, I am sure.
As a gay person, I have experienced firsthand, the evils of
homophobia, including its manifestation of AIDS: the failure
of our heterocentric society to intervene with any semblance
of compassion.

By my philosophy, no matter how "real" the situation seems to
you, or how "real" the evidence seems...nonetheless, the
actual souls that inhabited these victimized bodies were
switched to the heavenly dimension prior to any possibility of
ungodly suffering.

---end of quote

> If it is all OK because the infant would
> spend a wonderful eternity in Heaven, what is
> the necessity or benefit of having the infant
> spend a few short years of Hell, first? Did
> it learn a lesson from it? Did it experience
> personal growth?
 
No, it is not all "OK". It is not "OK" to mutilate or torture
a baby...thus, God does not allow it to happen...except
APPARANTLY, once in a while...that we may learn compassion for
all. In my philosophy of NeoChristianity, no person is ever
given over to extremes of suffering. What extremes we witness
or record in history, are APPARANT crimes, acted out by
angelic beings, in order to spare us humans from actually
going through such absurd horrors. They are ILLUSORY.

If ANYONE believes in a God, I don't see why they
unquestioningly accept all these APPARANT atrocities. For if
you really believe in a BENEVOLENT creator, why wouldn't you
come up with a philosophy that finds a way out of such hideous
events, without compromising one's intellect and common sense.
Why would you persist in CLINGING to a belief in a perverted
God, when you now have an alternative viewpoint, that allows
for a benevolent god, and salvation from a legacy of APPARANT
horror?

I'd rather believe in NO God, than a perverted God. But I have
a belief in a benevolent God, that answers the important
questions, and gives me much solace on a daily level. It makes
GOOD SENSE, while still celebrating the dignity and courage of
humanity's long history of many inspiring struggles. Here,
I'll quote some more, from my essay:

---begin quote:

On Wed, 18 Oct 2000 05:10:27 GMT, "Aislinn White Rose" wrote:

> WoW what an excuse for not doing
> anything....Well thats ok they can rape and
> murder you .

Beg pardon, but, that is not my point at all...and I think
that most people who give my premise more than a cursory read,
would agree with me. News flash: history is riddled with nasty
folks who *believe all this horror occurs literally, and
*still sit back and never resist.

I would think that those who are friends and relatives of such
victimized people (as in the Holocaust, or Vietnam War) would
be greatly *relieved to discover that their loved ones did
*not meet such a brutal demise. Don't you?

However, there are references to my philosophy in most
religions...just they are not primary in their teachings. The
typical remark "Death is an illusion" has been echoed through
the ages by many wise people.

> I will just walk away cause you know, your
> not really in your body now and you aren't
> feeling it, besides it is Gods will

Oh, no, again you have not thought through my ideas very well,
at all. Obviously (to most any reader), we are *seduced into
believing that such horrors really happen...and thus, in so
believing, our reactions to such events test our true mettle.
The most courageous are those who stand up to such perceived
evil, at risk of their own death or torture.

It is only later--when we have learned all of life's major
lessons--that the truth is revealed: that such horrors were
only contrived, rather than actually manifest. And IMO this
philosophy is the *only way one can reckon belief in a loving
creator, while at the same time accepting the apparant horrors
in mankind's history.

Take the KKKristians, as an example. They believe in a loving
god, yet still believe that the worst horrors of humanity
actually manifest literally, all the way. IMO, they are only
half right. There is *no way a loving god would have such evil
manifest. The KKKristians, apparantly, have accepted rote
ideas, and therefore failed to think through a true definition
of a "loving god", and what that really implies. I have.

And I give credit to pagan ideas that led me to my belief
system...thus, the name "neo-Christianity" to separate it from
conventional KKKristianity. That is: I have "paganized" the
KKKristian religion, and thus cleansed it of its intrinsic
horrors.

---end of quote

> I believe the statement that a philosopher
> once made: to the degree that you imagine God
> to be benevolent, you must imagine God to be
> incompetent. To the degree that you imagine
> God to be competent, you must imagine God to
> be malevolent.

It's always nice to have good quotes from celebrated thinkers.
But that doesn't necessarily make them true. For each
insightful statement by a famous person, I can find an equally
opposing one, that nonetheless is no more or less true than
the quote it opposes. The only reason you could find God
"incompetent" when you regard him as "benevolent", is because
you are using a false measure, skewed in the first place to
portray God as a goofball. For if God is truly benevolent (I
conclude, and repeat for the umpteenth time), then you must
"think through" this belief that so many have, that our
Creator actually ALLOWS atrocities like child torture, to
occur...and come to the sensible conclusion that of course he
does NOT allow these horrors to occur. Ergo, it's a clever
scam...but one that will benefit all humanity, in learning the
lessons of compassion.

> I find it difficult to reconcile my doubts
> about God's existence with the "magic" that
> I've seen. I really don't know what it all
> means.

Of course it is supremely DIFFICULT to wade through all the
scams, illusions, and phoniness of life, to get to the truth.
But this "magic" is proof of the spirit world...even if such
power seems to be malevolent. If you don't believe in a spirit
world, but one day something magical occurs, though evil: the
fact that you or loved one (or anyone else) was attacked by a
non-material force, is proof alone of a spirit dimension.
Doesn't matter if the example was "evil"...I'd just call that
"enlightenment through the back door". For you were just given
proof of the spirit world; and if there are demons, there will
probably also be angels.

> I suspect that at a minimum, Heaven is
> flawed, not perfect.

It is in flaws, that perfection is found. When you cling to a
belief that God allows evil to occur to us, in such absurdly
horrid extremes, then one must see the universe as tragically
damaged (and yourself along with it). I don't think that's
sane, or healthy, to think that way. But with my belief
system, it is all saved, it is all good...both heaven and
earth, and all else. We, as humans, are merely on the first
leg of our evolution, and are still learning the basic lessons
of compassion, and the art of living. We will soon evolve to
the next level, putting aside all war and torment.

My "NeoChristian" belief allows me to focus on improving my
life, instead of suffering needless angst, staring at photos
of victims of war and holocausts...or reliving over and over
again, that common fantasy of the whole world blowing up in
nuclear travesty. I can more readily help another in trouble,
without getting caught up in ridiculous melodrama.
NeoChristianity is not an excuse to do nothing: it is a salve
for those who've had to bear the apparant knowledge that a
loved one suffered incredible torture. For with my world view,
one realizes that such suffering has NEVER occurred to any
human (or other sentient being on any planet, for that
matter). Thus, why suffer yourself any more, if your loved
ones never really suffered to such an extent?

> The theory of this phenomenon that sounds
> truest was put forward by the cartoonist,
> Scott Adams. He believes that it has to do
> with quantum-parallel universes, where all
> possibilities play themselves out.

I believe there may be parallel lives for us, as well as past
and future. But I am only deliberating on our present
reality...for which I offer a new spin that I find liberating
while still ethically sound.

> It is similar to the way that you "create"
> your own dreams, but you still not the
> "master" or "god" of them, because they can
> still be nightmares, outside your control,
> even though it is your brain creating them.

That is not necessarily true about dreams. That is an
ASSUMPTION, not necessarily held by others who use "Dream
Time" as a vital part of their spiritual life, such as myself.
I have experienced far more "horrors" in waking life, than I
ever had in dreaming. One does not necessarily "create"
dreams: they may be communique that is filtered through your
own perceptual prejudices. Nightmares may be a warning to go
another direction in life, as dreams are usually metaphors of
your conscious life, that attempt to guide you in good
directions.

You are holding to an assumption about the dream state, that
is not necessarily true...then applying it as an example, to
waking life. I understand what you mean, though: that your
psychic ability seems much more an extension of your
subconscious, than your conscious. What I am saying is: with
training, you can channel this power on a CONSCIOUS level.
Presently, it is raw material. I believe that things will soon
happen, to teach you how to become more conscious in this, and
use your gift with full intent and responsibility. And you
will do very, very well.

> Must God brutalize infants just to teach the
> rest of us a lesson?

The answer I already gave in "NeoChristianity", as well as in
a later work, "The Origin of Evil" (which was playfully
metaphorical). If you think about my philosopy, you'll realize
that your question does not make much sense. For in my belief,
God DOES NOT brutalize infants, or allow them to be
brutalized. 

> How could such a benevolent and powerful God
> not have kinder and gentler ways of inspiring
> our hearts?

He does. You just don't see them, because your world view is
partly false...at least, that aspect that would allow you to
witness our Creator's FULL BENEVOLENCE. 

> Why would he not make his mind and intentions
> known by direct mind-to-mind contact?

He does, Grrrrrrr...when you are ready to hear Him (or Her, or
It, as you see things). This is the same as "opening up all
channels" as a shaman. You become sensitized, or "receptive"
to communique from other beings, including those in the spirit
world, and those who aren't (but have psychic gifts such as
telepathy). I have God's guidance with me all the time, as
well as from certain spirit guides I call "angels". I have no
trouble "hearing" their voices or messages...I feel in large
part, very blessed and watched over. This was not always so: I
had to develop my ideals over many years, before getting
there.

> I've known Holocaust survivors who thought
> they were real, and seemed to be real.

Don't believe all you hear, not even from survivors of a great
tragedy. They are spiritually bound to keeping The Secret,
after having crossed over, then come back as surviving
witnesses to this atrocity. They will not tell you the REAL
truth, until it's time for the whole world to understand.

> I've seen too much tragedy in my life- people
> dying young of AIDS, a 26 year-old cousin hit
> by a drunk driver, the miserable times that
> many hated, oppressed gays have, to think
> that tragedy is not real.

Oh they're real alright, to all witnesses' perspectives. But I
refuse to believe any of these victims actually suffered the
extremes of the holocaust and other tragedies. I can easily
comprehend a God being this benevolent, while still being
clever enough to fool any human, no matter how many times said
human "witnessed" tragic situations. Your witness, in and of
itself, gives no proof for or against my philosophy. I just
made a certain (logical) assumption that IF God were
benevolent, then of course these horrors didn't occur. So how
did they APPARANTLY occur? They were/are scams.

I did not experience my own supposed birth. I do not
experience death...which I believe is an illusion (as all
great sages have claimed). I do not believe people really die,
ever. I do not buy into "Death Dogma". No matter how many
people die at my feet (say, in a holocaust), I refuse to
believe that such scenarios are more than mere tomfoolery.
There is a whole 'nother LAYER of reality, for which this
APPARANT reality, is but an illusory spinoff. It is up to us,
to figure this all out. And we are.

> I wish that you are right, but I cannot
> personally believe so optimistically, right
> now.

You think it's foolish to be so optimistic. But I think it's
foolish to so unquestioningly accept a God of nihilism. My
optimism is founded on observation and reasoning...free of
preconceived dogma. Your viewpoint allows such dogma to shape
your ultimate conclusions. This dogma I speak of, is that
which says: "Since there is horrendous suffering in the world,
then if there is a God, he must be perverted." I claim that
this "horrendous suffering" is an illusion, which their own
minds lacked in figuring out. That is because for some reason,
these "thinkers" really don't want to allow the idea of a
truly benevolent God to come along and crush all their sacred
theories...which allow them to control the masses, and cover
up The Truth. Many of those who go along with them (such as
yourself) may be innocent, but they surely are buying into a
pointlessly nihilistic viewpoint that can only result in
madness.

It is your desitny, IMO, for you to discover Truth anyway...so
I'm not really worried over you. For some reason, your angels
deem you to not have this "blind spot" removed quite yet.
Probably because you need to experience more of reality via
your present viewpoint, before you reach new conclusions. I
have offered you my philosophy, that it may eventually prove
to be of great benefit to you, in a future time very close to
the present.

> Terribly brutal? Do you think that Abraham
> Lincoln was a terribly brutal man? Many
> Southerners thought so. I do not think that
> he was brutal at all.

Okay. So I remember a conclusion you made in a past message:
that these spirit beings have a different sense of morality
than we do...so that perhaps from their point of view, there
is no untoward suffering being allowed. That is reasoning I
can accept. But I decided to just stop fearing being
"anthropomorphic" about life, and just let my heart ask for
what it wants. And I have found my heart to be in much grief,
thinking of this conclusion. What satisfies the heart? (At
least in my case.) That God is more benevolent, more human,
than most image. His showing me that these terrible atrocities
were faked, not real, is the only answer that returns full
sanity and peace to my heart. Ergo, there must be SOME truth
in my reasoning...and every reason for me to continue on this
joyful path.

> Would you rather see a world where the Civil
> War was never fought? Are you sure? What
> would that world look like?

In my philosophy, the Civil War never WAS fought...at least,
not to any extent that could cause all the APPARANT suffering
recorded in our history. I believe it is possible that ALL OF
REALITY was created instantaneously with an "aritificial past"
implanted into all our minds. It is God's gift that we figure
out the truth, learn as we go, evolve with the lessons...to
finally toss out our phony selves and allow the True Self to
flourish.

> I would rather see a Holocaust of gays on the
> scale of the Holocaust of the Jews, if it
> meant that one day we would live in a world
> where the new Pope was apologizing to us,
> instead of a world where an exalted, adored
> Pope was contemptuously declaring how "evil",
> we were,

So would I. But neither outcome is our destiny. We (gays) are
destined for victory in our lifetimes.

> If there is any meaning in something like the
> Holocaust, *that* is the meaning.

The Holocaust is so rife with meaning, I don't know where to
begin! Whether you believe it really happened to such an
extent of horror, or believe in my opposing philosophy (that
it happened, but not to such an extent, except
APPARANTLY)...I find the Holocaust filled with meaning.

> What it the standard? Must one be threatened
> with immediate, physical harm in order to
> constitute "defense", or is denial of human
> dignity sufficient?

When it comes to violence--meaning PHYSICAL violence--most of
the time, reacting violently out of self defense should not be
incurred unless there was at least a clear verbal threat (or
gestures) of imminent danger to your body. There are *some
words or phrases for which physical retaliation SHOULD be
acceptable. A phrase like "I'm gonna kill you", or a word like
"faggot".

But each situation MUST be considered independent of any
others. For there are sometimes exceptions to the rules, where
denial of human dignity (in some forms) may deserve a violent
retaliation. And sometimes threat of immediate physical harm
may nonetheless be best diffused with NO violent retaliation.

> The slaves were not being murdered? What if
> there were not even being beaten? Is it so
> bad to be made to work? Necessity forces
> nearly all of us to work, even if we are
> "free". Work is not a bad thing?

What I'm saying, Grrrrrrr, is that we still have an OBLIGATION
to react to all things at face value. Even if I don't believe
such things really occur, I nonetheless must morally behave as
if they all did occur, until some future time when we learn
more about how life operates. If my buddy were being bashed,
I'd surely join the fray to defend him. I wouldn't believe
he's not really suffering so much, I can just walk away. I do
not know the limit of each person's suffering "threshhold".
Only God does. So I must not presume that all is okay, I don't
need to intervene. But what if I do all I can and my buddy
gets tortured and dies anyway? I can either live with the
belief of his torturing as true...thus living on with this
awful burden. Or I can conclude that his soul was taken away
before the worst commenced...and thus my heart need not weigh
so heavily.

Work is a bad thing, if not meaningful to the worker. And that
accounts for the vast majority of jobs that people hold down,
to survive. One must learn to cope with this scenario, when
one realizes this truth...and find a way to fulfillment
through all the bullshit. For me, the answer was to "drop out"
and live on Social Security. I'm one of the lucky few, to do
just that. This has allowed me tons of free time, to develop
my philosophy and inner world. All dedicated to Gay Rights.

> Or is it merely the idea that some people are
> worth so much less than others, that they are
> "owned" at all, even if "benevolently" owned,
> that justifies violence to change the
> situation.

I think this is an issue that has nothing to do with my
worldview, or yours. I believe that, even when one believes in
a truly benevolent god as I do...one still has the OBLIGATION
to lighten the burden of others less fortunate than oneself.
My philosophy is not a "do-nothing" system, but one that is
very active in trying to build a better world for us all;
starting first with gays.

> If there is a Creator who assists in these
> powers, I think that he would be doing so
> because I were seeing clearly, like a man
> from the future who sees that the truth is
> the opposite of what nearly everyone assumes
> without question.

That's precisely what I see happening, Grrrrrrr. Your vision
will soon become totally clear. I am in the awkward position
of suggesting that it isn't, quite yet...but that you are due
for some surprising results. 

> Thanks. I hope that we can debate without
> growing impatient.

I think we're doing just that. No problemo.

> If there is a Creator, we will not go wrong,
> either with peace or war, at least not for
> our cause, which is much larger than us. Our
> personal failings would be irrelevant to the
> cause itself.

True enough.

> If there is no intelligent Creator, then
> nothing really matters.

There is, and it does. But it is not my business to
proselytize, just share. Since my discovery that I have
embellished in the essay "NeoChristianity", my life has taken
off in a new direction, with all sorts of incredible insights.
It has gone on for several months now, never failing to
support my conclusion. I hope I have answered at least SOME of
your questions to your reasonable satisfaction. But I'll
always look forward to your opinions on any subject, even when
they continue to oppose my own. You have an incredible mind,
and it is a great reward that some of your ideas come to my
own mailbox, personally.

Allow me to conclude this message with a paragraph that also
concludes my essay:

---begin quote

But if you have done all you can, but to no avail, you of
course must walk away with a saddened heart. My philosophy
offers redemption from such sadness, in a way that no other
conventional religion offers. And does so without compromising
whatever religion or world view that person presently prefers.
You need not call my idea "neo-Christianity"; you could call
it "neo-Judaism" or "quasi-paganism", or even "neo-Neo" for
that matter. One may even just attach my philosophy to one's
current belief system, if you so please.

---end of quote


---
Lavender-Velvet Revolution
http://surf.to/gaybible

=================================================== 

From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Mon, 08 Jul 2002 01:19:33 -0700

Subject: The Truthasaur That Shouted Gay Love At The Heart Of The World


Grrrrrr, you might want to scan through what appears to be a
well-researched site on various conspiracy theories:

   Truthasaur
   http://truthasaur.com/

I think therein, we may find genuine hints hidden except for
those who are becoming "aware" (for want of a better term;
"telepathic" might also be a good choice). I believe that the
greatest secrets (or "truths") are cloaked in many layers of
illusions, or "conspiracies"...and that, this is one obvious
example of how God is not only very clever, but quite funny, as
well. I believe some other well-done conspiracy-type sites will
also hold valuable clues. And I'm sure you have already
discovered most of the important ones, if not all.

I therefore conclude: "The greatest truths are buried, like seed,
in the most fertile areas of illusion's soil." Another way to
say this, is: "Heaven's Door cannot be reached, except by way of
Hell's Path." Or even: "Feel no pain, get no gain." :D

Here are some insights that have just come to me in visions over
the last few days (and still happening, even as I compose this
mail):

Red and blue are sacred colors in the Christian world: for that
is what Jesus wore at his last supper: outer robe of blue, inner
garment of red. But these two colors have even more primitive
origins, that hail all the way back to the Neanderthal. They were
People of the Ice Age, and life was harsh. There was one rose
that grew in parts of the ice cap, which became a symbol of love
and friendship among the Neanderthal (as roses tend to do in *all
human species, no matter what color). And it was a Blue
Rose...which doesn't exist any more, for it perished with the
rise of Cro Magnon. So the red rose represents Cro Magnon (us,
mostly), and the red and blue roses depicted together, represent
the promise of brotherly love some day, between Neanderthal and
Cro Magnon. Neanderthals had become a highly homosexualized
species for such a long time, that this sexual persuasion became
embedded in their very genes. They continued to successfully
maintain their population levels via their shamans' sacred
ritual of artificial insemination. But Cro Magnon killed, even
ate Neanderthals for the most part...except for a few enlightened
Cro Magnons here and there, scattered sparsely among tribes.

As a result of the compassion of a handful of Cro Magnons, some
Neanderthal survivors remain alive today, still safely concealed
in two locations in northernmost parts of Siberia. And it is the
Blue Rose that is the symbol of their brotherhood: a promise
between TWO SPECIES OF MANKIND, that someday they shall live
together in blessed peace. The time of Revelation has come; the
Neanderthal survivors shall make their presence known, and stun
the world. And here's yet another secret they tell me:

If a Neanderthal's gene ye possess;
Ye also own the queer one, no less.
But stripping this gene from Cro-Mag DNA,
Will turn Odin's wrath in favor of Gay.
For in our chill land so-icey-so-airey,
We also became
The People of Faerye.

These few Cro-magnons were your first eco-activists BTW, as well
as the start of the "Gay Underground". They were secured many
miles up the mountains, far beyond the range of any Cro-Magnon
expeditions. But their range grew, while the Neanderthals'
diminished. The secret society of Cro-Magnons dedicated to the
preservation of their brother Neanderthals went more and more
underground, and would erupt in cycles, through quasi-pagan
secret organizations such as the Rosicrucians. I bring them up
particularly, for the symbol of the Rose Cross bears this secret
I just revealed (about the Blue Rose being a symbol for the
pledge of devotion between two species of man). But most of what
presents itself as "Rosicrucian" to the world, is but a front for
the truly secret messengers not even known by most of this
order's members.

So there's the true mystical meaning of the Blue Rose...which has
been puzzling me since my first vision (11 years ago) of the Blue
Rose being embroidered onto my curtain. I brought up this topic
in various pagan/shaman newsgroups and message boards, but I only
got vague responses as to the origin of the Blue Rose. Not a one
even hinted on its Neanderthal source, and all the implications
that come with this...it all finally revealed itself to me in
some visions I had a few weeks ago. Since then, I have many more
visions each week, than ever before...I believe what this is, I
am seeing more clearly the "other world", parallel to our
material world. Well, at least that's one rational interpretation
I can come up with.

But you see how my revelation will be most uplifting to the
spirit of gay folks everywhere, of course. Amazing, eh? And I
don't think this is all my own imagination...I have concluded
that I am a messenger, that is, a chosen one, through whom these
beings speak. I'm like an angel who was sent on a mission to help
planet earth...and I lost my memory as an angel, in order to view
the world through a man's eyes, and provide firsthand feedback to
God or the archangels working directly under him. I believe you
are too, and a number of other people...how many, or how few, I
don't know. But I do know I have awakened before most anyone else
has. I believe we are brothers, Grrrrrrr, and we are meant to
find each other, and the rest of our clan (or tribe, or family,
or whatever).

The Secret of the Blue Rose has been most sacredly preserved in
the British Isles, with the Ultimate Power resting in Eire. I am
receiving most of my visions and inspirations for my gay fairy
tales and parables, from Celtic and pre-Celtic British Isles. The
Blue Rose has a most sacred place in those Isles, and it is
somewhere up in northernmost Scotland. Remember: Neanderthal were
a people of the Arctic Realms. Thus, their "family" (or
"species") roamed over and across the North Pole, not thousands
of miles around it like us temperate folk.

And with the melting of these ancient glaciers, will come
archaeological treasures of unimaginable wealth and revelations!
A plethora of HOMOSEXUAL ART is everywhere in these cave people's
culture. Their traditions lived on in the ancient Thracians (now
Macedonians), that later infused Classical Greek culture and
beyond. The original rose was born in ancient Thrace, some time
in the Ice Age...and the rose was colored blue. For the Great
Ice Cap had engulfed all of Thrace and even further south, by
that time.

Let me come out of my trance now, Grrrrrrr. I was instructed to
channel this latest vision in your direction. No one else knows
of it...wait, not quite true. I can discuss my visions openly
with a friend, Jim. And in the last month more folks have come
into my life, who respect my viewpoints, and support my psychic
gifts. It's already happening, Grrrrrrr...I am being networked, and
protected more and more by a growing circle of my soldiers: true
warriors of brotherly and sisterly love.

I will send you the next wave of information, as it comes to me,
and as I am instructed. Perhaps you will interpret hidden
messages that I myself can't discern. I may be psychically
GIFTED, but I certainly am not psychically LITERATE. If the ideas
conveyed via these sacred messages strike a personal chord with
you, I'd be most intrigued. For I know the healer in me often
operates on a SUBCONSCIOUS level, and seems to want to pay you
very special attention these days. Oh, yeah, part of it is his
sorrow for the attack you suffered on that hikers path. He wants
you to know that what you bore, was for the sake of many lost
souls who would otherwise be forever lost. You are a very brave
soldier, Grrrrrrr, and your great works have all been witnessed and
brought to Our Inventor's Attention. He is most pleased, and
offers a special gift in your honor. What it is, he's not
telling, but you'll know when it happens (he says).

So let me take a break from surfing my stream of
subconsciousness, and get off the Internet and just stare at the
boob tube or somethin'.

Your friend and comrade,

Beel Z.

---
Lavender-Velvet Revolution
http://surf.to/gaybible


=================================================== 

From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Mon, 08 Jul 2002 03:15:57 -0700

Subject: The Truthasaur, etc. (cont'd)


So they showed me some more stuff, which they want me to share
with you:

These are angels, Grrrrrrr, fuckin' bloody ANGELS. They are the
spirits of these tortured Neanderthal! You know, some Cro-Magnons
and Neander's fell in love, homosexual love.

So, some of these "underground" activists were saving the lives
of their lovers, as well. And some incredible, astounding love
stories have come to me, from their telling of their people. One
sad but true tale, is of a Cro-Magnon who secretly was a member
of SON ("Save Our Neanderthals"), that visited his lover twice
between quarter-moons. Of course, he could never be caught doing
this, or it will not only result in the betrayal of his lover's
hiding place (and consequent intractable execution), but in his
own immediate death by government decree. Well, this dude really
suffered for his beloved Neanderthal brothers, for one evening in
mealtime around the hearth, he discovered that the meat in
tonight's stew was cut into chewy cubes from the flesh of his own
"secret" lover, now dead.

And my angels tell me I WAS this dude, in a past life long, long
ago. What a sad fate to suffer, every bit as astounding as the
greatest of Greek Tragedies. Instead of having his liver plucked
out each day, like Prometheus, he was condemned to feed upon his
lover's liver for all eternity! Perhaps I am tied to another side
of the same rock as Prometheus...but the rock is so big we can't
even hear each other yell, let alone see. But the vulture knows
where we BOTH are, so plucks the liver from Prometheus's side,
flies around the distant bend of rock, and force-feeds it to me
in bite-size pieces of Man-Handler Stew.

For these enlightened Cro-Magnon dissidents did not see
Neanderthal as other than a "people"...while the majority of
their species regarded them as no better than animals, for they
did not worship their own true gods. But the dissidents objected,
saying: "No, that is no way to measure whether one is a man or
not. We have found a better way." The Shamans were shocked into
silence at such a blasphemous remark...they really didn't know
HOW to react. Finally, one of them cleared his throat and
requested: "Oh, so you have a new improved way to measure man?
This better be good." To which the activists replied, in quite
simple words: "We find a much better measure is to answer this
question: 'Can he or can't he build a fire?' And surely, not only
can Neanderthal build a fire, it is the Neanderthals THEMSELVES
who brought fire to Cro-Magnon!"

And what's more: the ancient racial memories of Neander's
countenance have lived on in religious fable as "angels".
That is what they tell me, to tell you, honest to Zeus.

The Blue Rose has been handed to me, Grrrrrrr. It is another version
of the Holy Grail, which has been entrusted to my keep for some
time to come. My Neanderthal heritage comes strongly from my
maternal grandfather, who hailed from Elgin, Scotland, which is
way, way up north. My spirits tell me I was once the son of their
greatest warrior and leader, in a very distant time long before
the Celts ever came along. Randolph is the reincarnation of this
leader, or King, and I am his son...whom he created through white
magic, not through womb. 

We (all us Faerye Folk Neanderthals) had to find some way to
escape the ultimate catastrophe that would destroy our species
for all time. So we used our sophisticated intuitive-knowledge of
the human body, to implant the perfect memory-soul of each of our
kind, into the DNA of the prolific and aggressive Cro-Magnon. And
this DNA was programmed to trigger at just the right time...when
we would re-emerge after eons of sleep, in the bodies of the most
gifted people on the planet. This is NOT spirit possession, but a
part of your own self, your DNA even, which was not triggered to
emerge until your later years. You are NOT at all who you think
you are, Grrrrrrr...you have only BEGUN to discover your self.



---
Lavender-Velvet Revolution
http://surf.to/gaybible

==============================================================

From: Grrrrrrr Andson

To: Beel Zebub

Subject: Re: The Truthasaur That Shouted Love At The Heart Of The World

Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2002 22:39:11 -0400


Thanks, that was extremely enlightening. I think that the poor
fellow, with his legal troubles, needs a little less Subpoena
Duces Tecum  and a little more habeus corpus, where law of the
jungle prevails, particularly when the power of the unconscious
mind it pitted against our pitful and decadent system of
government and its thoroughly corrupt legal system.   NaziJudge
Ray Moore from Damned Alabama is an excellent precedent, just as
our Most Excellent President, His Excellency, is an excellent
precedent.  His dynasty will take nasty urn when a dinosaur dines
on him, in a Texas motorcade, and a serpent rises from the
Potomac River.

The poor fellow  is so right to enlist the Native Americans,
because they also will gain retribution for their own forgotten
genocide. When they take on the Texas Rangers for a baseball
game, no human tongue will be able to tell their feelings, at
that moment.    Not to mention the Independent Islamic Republic
of Texas, which will break away in a dramatic Texas Independence
movement, splintering the United States like the breakup of the
former Soviet Union, and dealing to a crippling blow to our oil
industry.   Yahoo, Texas will be as busted as yahoo.com, a shadow
of its former self in the loosely federated, but forcibly
federalized, former United States.

When we finally run out of snake-oil, the Truthasaur will set us
free.  Tell it to the judge on Judgement Day.

Sincerely, Grrrrrrr

=================================================== 

From: Grrrrrrr Andson

To: Beel Zebub

Subject: Re: The Truthasaur, etc. (cont'd)

Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2002 21:55:38 -0400


Beel Zebub wrote:

> DNA even, which was not triggered to emerge
> until your later years. You are NOT at all
> who you think you are, Grrrrrrr...you have
> only BEGUN to discover your True Self, about
> to unfold like a Lotus.

Thanks, I sometimes have a feeling that  there is something about
myself that I don't understand, yet.

Sincerely, Grrrrrrr

=================================================== 

From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2002 20:17:38 -0700

Subject: Re: The Truthasaur That Shouted Love At The Heart Of The World


Grrrrrrr Andson wrote:

>Thanks, that was extremely enlightening.

I am known to blow my own mind, from time to time.

> NaziJudge Ray Moore from Damned Alabama is an
> excellent precedent, just as our Most
> Excellent President, His Excellency, is an
> excellent precedent.  His dynasty will take
> nasty urn when a dinosaur dines on him, in a
> Texas motorcade, and a serpent rises from the
> Potomac River.

I like your turns of phrase. The metaphorical becomes euphorical!
I think your ability to compose creative  prose and poetry around
ugly scenarios, is an indicator of parallel psychic abilities.
For you are exposing truth, using clever metaphors to bring out
the real, raw  horror of homophobia (and other prejudices). The
more potent the metaphor, the more potent the psychic bomb. For
you could not have gotten to such an eloquent level of  exposing
truth, without working very hard to develop such a skill. IOW,
your writings are true prayers that the angels can't resist, due
to your highly persuasive  rhetoric. They answer your prayer by
granting you powers to achieve your dream.

When your works finally strike those chords that make your
writing even MORE public...you will see your great  labors bear
fruits of retribution and liberation. In my life, the buds have
already begun to blossom. I am sure that before this year is out,
I will be in a much more  advantageous position to effect rapid
progress towards our liberation, via my own talents. Now, add my
talents to yours, and a growing rank of other fed-up, creative
queers...and we become a true fighting force.

> Yahoo, Texas will be as busted as yahoo.com,
> a shadow of its former self in the loosely
> federated, but forcibly federalized, former
> United States.

Yeah, we're on the same wavelength. My essay "Oh Tremble Amerika"
also describes civil war and collapse of  these United States.
But this is all fresh fertilizer on which to grow new ventures
over the rubble of the old and outmoded.

> When we finally run out of snake-oil, the
> Truthasaur will set us free.  Tell it to the
> judge on Judgement Day.

I'd rather fly out to Chicago.

---
Lavender-Velvet Revolution
http://surf.to/gaybible

=================================================== 

From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2002 20:52:37 -0700

Subject: Re: The Truthasaur, etc. (cont'd)


Grrrrrrr Andson wrote:

> Thanks, I sometimes have a feeling that
> there is something about myself that I don't
> understand, yet.

On the spirit level, I already have a clear image of who you are,
and your destiny. FWIW I'll tell you now,  without ever expecting
you to buy into all of what I'm about to say, let alone any of
it.

Your spirit is that of an archangel of the highest rank...right
up there with my Nam Vet lover Randolph  Taylor. Your destiny is
to command and rule over a body of people, and a body of land.
Complete trust in your abilities is granted to you by Our
Inventor, and He knows  you'll make one of the best leaders this
world has ever seen. You will be part of the innermost circle of
this group (of which there are 13, I think). You will have
assigned to you several secondary messengers, who are equivalent
to a "grunt" in the Vietnam War. That's what I am: a grunt. In
spirit terms, grunts are "bodhisattvas" dedicated to liberating
all souls before they themselves accept the pleasures of Nirvana.
You serve as guardians and lovers to your boys, who all serve
under you, or  one of the other Chief Archangels.

Randolph leads the circle I'm part of: he's my Dad and lover. You
head another circle, which is closely  linked with Randolph's. In
spirit, you and Randolph and some others are like fathers to us
grunts. We love you guys with unquestioned devotion, and take
many brave risks  for the sake of always answering to love's
call. We yearn to be the BEST! You guys are an inspiration to us,
as well as our creators...we know you love us with  the intensity
of a loving parent who's doing an incredible job of raising us
charges.  A lot of people will some day look up to you, for your
heroic nature and devotion  to the truth. You will be known as
part of a group of underground gay activists who headed our
global revolution.

I will be a main spokesperson for our global queer family...but
only because the archangels backing me, have  honored me with
such a station. And because Randolph heads them all, and is
showing favoritism towards one of his offspring.

You, me, and a bunch of other queer activists will be brought
together on the Internet, and eventually go  underground, where
the Blue Rose Militia is actively building on a foundation that
will give us our own nation, Athenia. By then, money will be
flowing in this gay  underground, where we have our own gov't,
universal health care, housing, jobs, etc. We will gain complete
control over the entire computer network across the globe; we
will  take over the media and many other major powers on this
planet.

We grunts will soon become very war-weary. And that's also where
you and the other archangels come in, to  heal us and decondition
us once we no longer need to return to the battlefield. We are
suffering severe PTSD fighting this Armageddon we call "life",
and will  need the brotherly love of our big-brother angels.

Now, these are all just metaphors I like to use...but feel free
to use other metaphors to describe what I  see. Essentially, you
will become one of our world leaders for gay rebellion, who will
excel at commanding our troops. One of MY honorable roles is like
Bob Hope's: I'll  cheer the troops with my stand-up routines. I
will also save the lives of all our soldiers who've been fatally
wounded. (The enemy can rot.)

So by "battlefield" I mean society's constant attacks on gays. By
"angel" I mean a benevolent spirit, however  you may call it.

You said your gift is with being able to explode or destroy
things. It occurred to me that perhaps your gift  isn't meant to
be utilized unless in conjunction with another who is gifted in
such a way as to *discern where (and when) to drop the next bomb.
This would be the gift of  discernment. A vision of a triangle
last year, revealed to me what I call "The Celtic Trinity". Each
side of the triangle stands for one aspect of this trinity, and
they are: Discernment, Judgment, and Vengeance. Each quality is
represented by one of the heads of Cerberus. (Remember, I am
destined to create NEW mythology, thus diverging  from the
traditional outcomes one might expect.)

So: some of us are "Dogs" of Discernment, "Dogs" of Judgement, or
"Dogs" of Vengeance (or "justice"). These  dogs can also be seen
as wolves or werewolves. (Though "dog" is a military term for
good buddy, one who serves his apprenticeship with pride, just
like in  Medieval chivalry). My spirit is the Werewolf Damien,
who excells in "discerning" good souls from evil souls...using
his psychic canine nose separate chaff from wheat.  All evil
souls he encounters are then forwarded to the Werewolf of
Judgment, who decides what form or correction each naughty soul
deserves. It is the Werewolf of  Vengeance who sees to it that
all punishments are metered out down to the very last jot and
tittle. And these three types must work together. And this is why
I  believe your psychic ability appears crippled, or not very
practical for applying most effectively. I believe our psychic
gifts will not become complete, without  integrating our spirits
with other gifted compatriots. Then, we work as a unified
team...no an ARMY.

So I'm a good dog, you know. Wishing for my master to come home,
finally. Ol' Yeller Randolph.


---
Lavender-Velvet Revolution
http://surf.to/gaybible

=================================================== 

From: Beel Zebub

To: Grrrrrrr Andson

Date: Fri, 12 Jul 2002 12:40:08 -0700

Subject: Re: The Truthasaur That Shouted Love At The Heart Of The World

I'm very proud of you, Grrrrrrr. How you are so absolutely
dedicated to the freedom of our gay brothers and sisters. You
will be rewarded for your incredible efforts; of this I have no
doubt. We're not THERE yet, so of course we still have to suffer
bullshit. But it is a great honor to know you...before we are
actually members of the same underground, which I call Blue Rose
Militia. I believe we will soon be living in close
proximity...via this underground, where we have our own
headquarters and housing.

We might have several headquarters around the country, and world.
One might be in Chicago...in fact, I'm sure of it. By that point,
I will have the resources to travel and visit with other
activists I have met on the Internet.

Perhaps this is all fantasy, to cope with harsh reality. I am
obliged to say this, as a check on my own ego. But I feel very
strongly, I am right on target; which suggests that I have
psychic abilities. My main concern when I become popular, is how
to divert folks from starting a cult. I will keep distributing my
gifts to more and more concerned gays, and assigning positions of
power as much as possible, to others who seem ready and able. And
I will also serve under another, that I may have a balanced ego
and not get too puffed up.

I will also invite gays from around the world, to contribute to
the compilation of The Final Testament. By then, our queer family
should have my website to preserve and expand. I don't know what
more to say at this time: I certainly have plenty of visions to
tell tales, though! If I am correct in my visions, then we have
nothing to worry about...and in a little more time, our psychic
gifts (if such they be) will manifest more obviously, as proof to
ourselves, and to those closest to us.

Please know that, if your lover has difficulty discussing psychic
stuff, you always have me to cover this topic. That way, not all
your burdens will be dumped on a good buddy who is your soulmate.
I'm sure he's as great a guy as you are; that's the way these
things go.


---
Lavender-Velvet Revolution
http://surf.to/gaybible

=================================================== 

From: Grrrrrrr Andson

To: Beel Zebub

Subject: Re: The Truthasaur That Shouted Love At The Heart Of The World

Date: Sat, 13 Jul 2002 12:33:42 -0400

Beel Zebub wrote:

> Perhaps this is all fantasy, to cope with
> harsh reality. I am obliged to say this, as a
> check on my own ego. But I feel very
> strongly, I am right on target; which
> suggests that I have psychic abilities. My
> main concern when I become popular, is how to
> divert folks from starting a cult. I will
> keep distributing my gifts to more and more
> concerned gays, and assigning positions of
> power as much as possible, to others who seem
> ready and able. And I will also serve under
> another, that I may have a balanced ego and
> not get too puffed up.

I have sometimes wondered, might this a trick of the mind
triggered by escapist fantasy, or simply ego, but I sincerely
don't think that it is, for me.  So many times, I have viewed
events with such wide-eyed astonishment, almost gasping in
disbelief.   Only when the events were so repeated and
overwhelming, did I slowly come to self-affirm the realization
that genuine psychic phenomena were at work.

Ego?   I remember a high school Latin teacher once crediting my
for my unusual humility.  Some people would think it "ego" to
dare be so brazen and presumptuous as to question the "greatness"
of the Pope, or the worth of religion, or to mock Congressmen.
Is it ego, or is it just insight, and a creditworthy defiance,
based just on assertion of human dignity, not any great ego?

Ultimately, the struggle of our cause isn't about us, or our
personalities, or our flaws or foibles, or vision or courage, as
the case may be.   Our cause is correct, regardless of we are
heroes, or fools, or merely mediocre.

Regards, Grrrrrrr


---finis