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Click here or be queer!

(265 kb)

While rummaging through a neighbor's basement, I came upon this ancient Windoze 3.1 webcam. It isn't even USB compatible...but connects via two ports simultaneously: PS/2 and parallel. Installed with just two (hear me? just two old-timey) floppy diskettes.

Can you believe this? I actually got it to work! Black and white only, though video and sound synchronize perfectly!

No wonder some people think I'm a witch.

Click on me (above) to play the first webcam appearance ever!

Then, click on the two images below, to see my second and third attempts at webcam comedy:

Jackie Gleason Take 1

Jackie Gleason
Take 1

(1.2 mb)

Jackie Gleason Take 2

Jackie Gleason
Take 2

(1.6 mb)

(If you connect with a 56kb modem like me, by now you realize these files take a while to download. So--unless you use broadband--you're gonna have to be real patient to view these additional videos, which range from 2.6 to 9.4 megabytes!)

These next video skits are my "Jehovah's Queer Witness" character, first time on webcam. Enjoy!

  1. Premise for Jehovah's Queer Witness (9.4 mb)

  2. Poem: Jesus Has a Web Page (4.9 mb)

  3. Poem: Welcome to Athenia (6.8 mb)

  4. Takes A Break (5.7 mb)

  5. Poem: Chicken Little's Woe (2.6 mb)