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If you are underage, or in any way forbidden by your government or religious laws from viewing X-rated subject matter, please do not read this salty tale. If, however, you are not restricted by any laws in your geographical location, by all means read on.

(a true tale from the castro; eat your heart out armistead)

© 2015 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin

Date: Tue, 30 Jun 2015 11:19:44
Re: The Plot Coagulates
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney

On Mon, Jun 29, 2015 at 6:23 PM, Eleanor Cooney wrote:

{{ Ha! Great pix. That oughta make him squirm a little. I especially like the pumped-up Scooby-Doo. }}

I'm sure it put a big smile on his glorious mug.

My latest manic phase began several days ago...I'm sure that Medi-Cal's abusive treatment towards me triggered it. But now I know I'll be perfectly fine, and just enjoy the ride as my creative flow swells into a tsunami.

In fact, I'm gonna be a whistle blower over this Medi-Cal corruption, I won't shut up about it. I sincerely hope that Ms. Pelosi will do the right thing, and give me access to proper channels, that I may right this wrong.

My next eye checkup is in September, but I will soon phone the clinic to cancel. I'll say something like: "I can't afford the horrid share of cost, so cancel my appointment, you mother fukkers!" I have lost all faith in doctors and hospitals...why should I throw myself into their arms, and trust they will heal and protect?

I don't think even the wealthiest pay near that much every month, under the ACA! We poor folk are grossly overcharged, thus remain w/o any sort of health insurance. My latest line is this:

"It's amazing and wonderful that marriage equality is now the law in every state! But I'm /still/ gonna have to secede and form my own government, so I can finally get some friggin medical care."

{{ Louisiana boy, eh? He looks sweet and kind, even asleep. }}

He is indeed most sweet and kind. And a lot more than that: courageous, intelligent, witty and so forth. He gifted me with this lovely bracelet (see attachment). I instantly placed it 'bout my wrist, and said: "This is quite lovely, thank you Zach."

At first, I didn't notice the letters on those white beads. Until Zach pointed out: "See what it says?"

When I did, it blew my mind; I almost ROTFLMAO'd (rolled on the floor laughing my ass off).

- Zeke

Date: Sat, 11 Jul 2015 16:43:01
Two Bracelets in One Week
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Imaginary(?} Reptilian E-friends

[ My Specious Reader: this isn't even a real email, but merely a vehicle to continue this tale of brotherly passion and divine adventure! Please observe that 12 days have passed between this faux email and the one above. I have since /lost/ Zach's booty bracelet, much to my sorrow. Since it fit so loose, it probably dropped off quietly while removing my coat or sweater. Though if I'm lucky, I misplaced it somewhere in my room, and shall eventually rediscover this cherished little gift. Upon receiving it from My Louisiana Paramour and noting the letters, I immediately declared:

"That'll be a sad day in my life when the string breaks!" ]

Well, maybe a search on for "booty bead bracelet" will allow me to order several of the same...that I may always be reminded of the joy he's brought to my world. Whatever: it's just a material item that symbolizes our friendship. So Goddess forbid I should ever become morose over its disappearance, and as a result devalue the great camaraderie between us.

I will forever be grateful for Hurricane Katrina driving him out of his homeland, and bringing Darling Zach into my arms.

Meanwhile, another street pal /also/ brought me a bracelet that same week (in fact, on June 28, the day of San Francisco's Pride March): with rainbow glass beads of various shapes and sizes bound by a thin metallic coil. It hugs my wrist like a diminutive boa constrictor.

His name is Mikey, same age as Zach though quite different in appearance and personality...nonetheless they share one thing in common: a loving demeanor.

"I adore you to pieces," he often declares while holding me in his arms and kissing me on the neck. "I want you to know that. You are a blessing in my life!"

Mikey is a skinny 6-foot-2, with dirty-blond hair now cropped down to a buzz cut, an elfin-handsome face...and such a sweet boner that is 10 inches erect, one of the loveliest hardons I ever laid tongue on. (Let me add here, though, that Zach's wanger is equally hot and ample, albeit two inches shorter. If I ever had to choose between the two, Zach would win each time. They both got a nice set of balls and solid thighs and calves that make me howl like a wolf.)

Funny how Mikey came across this rainbow bracelet. After placing it on my left wrist and thanking him for this treasure, I queried: "Where did you get this?"

At first he said a friend presented it to him, but then he choked a bit and said: "I found it."

Two days later I was eager to show it to Zelda who manages the laundromat around the corner, where she also displays her handcrafted jewelry as a side business. When I removed that bracelet so she could examine it closely, she declared with a start:

"That's /my/ bracelet! I made them for Gay Pride! That one was stolen." Her index finger pointed directly at the pilfered booty.

So I immediately handed it over: "Go ahead then, take it back. I'm sorry that Mikey stole it."

"No, no, keep it. And don't confront Mikey." Zelda lowered her head in humility.

"Well, okay," I replied in hesitation while placing it back upon my wrist. "He does have hepatitis C, yet is growing in leaps and bounds. I agree: it's best not to bring this up, in light of his incredible progress."

Then it dawned on This Floppy Brainpan: "That's /your/ birthday gift to me, through Mikey's hand!" (For the anniversary of my appearance in this life was just four days ago.)

So my buddies are thieves--some of them--and if they can't purchase a gift for me, they'll steal. My life is such an O'Henry narrative...though with a gay spin to it.


July 12, 2015

My Wondrous Reptile Larkin:

These past few weeks my eyesight has failed further, in that I make so many more typos, and it is so hard to write anything any more without having to go back and correct errors that were never so numerous before.

This is a race with time. I can no longer afford the necessary eye care required to keep my vision intact. I dread the day that may soon arrive, when I can no longer view your sterling mug except perhaps from side glances once macular degeneration sets in.

Why must so much sadness be required, in order to win your friendship for good? I'm afraid that if God so deems I go almost totally blind in order to obtain victory, I will become a very bitter man in spite of any good that may come henceforth.

I'd rather take my life, than live without seeing your beautiful face any more. The blind lead the blind, but they shall not lead me.

Your loving friend,


Date: Tue, 12 July 2015 14:04:32
Please read!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney

12 July 2015


Please read my latest tale, "Booty," it is brief, though a most extraordinary piece of writing. While the first part is a recent email to you, the rest you have not yet seen. I am very proud of this miraculous ability to present the world with my own gay adventures.

I greatly appreciate your attention, as I may soon become too sight impaired to write any more tales, and hardly anyone but four or five people read my wonderful stories. Though I will soon become famous across the world.

I have been crying much these days, at the thought of losing my sight and no longer being able to gaze upon Larkin's handsome visage. Even more than walking with a cane, and not seeing anything else. Lord help me. I do believe in God.

- Zeke

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