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Permission granted by author for anyone to distribute this
writing free of charge (including translation into any
language)...under condition that no profit is made therefrom,
and that it remain intact and complete, including title and 
credit to the original author.

Ezekiel J. Krahlin


(A True Tale From The Castro. Eat your heart out, Armistead!)

© 1997 by Ezekiel J. Krahlin

September 6, 1996

Dear B.A.R. Editor,

     I would like to address Damon Jacobs, whose letter of
September 5 complained about the sudden removal of himself and
friends from The Cafe, due to the intimate smooching--in
public--of the straight couple in his group.  Mr. Jacobs was
flustered over what he perceives as an ignorant, dangerous
action taken by a bartender in this obviously pro-les/gay
establishment. He wasn't even given a chance to tell the
bartender that this hetero couple were his guests, and I
quote:  "...she called upon a guard who promptly and rudely
kicked the four of us out.  No questions were asked, no
discussion, nothing."

     Let me ask you this, oh righteous Damon:  Since when has
a gay couple caught necking in a straight bar, NOT been
promptly kicked out...and worse yet, often bashed to a bloody
pulp?  By the way, have your opposite-sex friends ever invited
you to a straight bar...and encouraged you to make out with a
gay buddy right there, in front of all the homophobes...and
offered to protect you should a fight break out?  My
impression of your two hetero comrades, is that they are
insensitive and thoughtless at best, and flauntingly arrogant
and homo-condemning at worst.  Who do they think they are, to
push their breeder ways in our faces, in the few places where
we're supposed to feel comfortable?  I think your "het"
friends got off lightly, by a prompt dismissal with neither
bruising nor threat of bruising, as a consequence of their

     You suggest, dear Damon, that The Cafe should warn all
patrons of discrimination against certain hetero actions,
before they enter the premises.  That's fine with me; a sign
could be posted that says:  "To our heterosexual clients:
This is a protective environment for lesbian and gay people.
Please respect our space.  Blatant displays of hetero love
play will result in immediate expulsion of the offending
parties."  But I don't encourage such posting until the same
is done in strictly hetero environments, i.e. "straight bars."
After all, no straight bar posts any sign saying "Faggots and
dykes not welcome."  As long as these homo-hateful places
continue to bash us, I think they should be forced to announce
this policy right at their entrance ways, for all to see.
Don't you agree, Damon?

     I am in complete opposition, Mr. Jacobs, to your
condemnation of The Cafe's action (of removing the
heterosexist couple).  In fact, I applaud their unflinching
stance, and only wish that more queer places would be so
forthright.  How often I go to a gay bar to see bartenders do
absolutely nothing about a hetero couple getting it on amidst
a gay crowd that really is disgusted with het-sex
arrogance...and desires to avoid it for a short while, by
going to these pro-homosexual establishments (which, by the
way, play mostly hetero love songs:  egad!).  If any action
should be taken, it should be AGAINST those bartenders,
waiters, clerks, shop owners, etc., who look the other way
when "hets" flaunt their sexist behavior in lesbian or gay

     I encourage more people in our community to patronize The
Cafe...and any other les/gay spots that actively staunch any
and all heterosexist behavior.  Posting a sign to this
effect--as Damon Jacobs suggested in a brilliant flash of
insight--will most likely increase customer volume.  For
believe it or not, there are ever-increasing numbers of
non-heterosexist heteros, who gladly support the pro-homo
movement.  In the lesbian/gay cause, they rightly see
improvement towards the treatment of females, children, and
male gentleness.  These are intelligent people whom we should
welcome with open arms...but who should finally start wearing
pro-gay buttons and T-shirts, with statements such as "Another
hetero for gay rights."  In that way, we may distinguish them
from the bestial, Cro-Magnon heterosexist type, and give them
our gratitude and trust.

     We lesbians, gays, and other assorted queers, have hardly
any place to go in this city, county, state, nation, or world,
where we are not in immediate danger of being terrorized for
our lives. Can we not even have a few places where no
heterosexist activity takes place?  You may not like to think
in this way, but the truth is that we still live in a society
which absolutely thrives on terrorizing the homosexual.  It is
like being surrounded by Charles Manson clones wherever I
go...whether to a shopping mall, a busy street, a club, bar,
or neighborhood, the theater, and so on ad nauseum.  You never
know--from one moment to the next--which of these seemingly
peaceful, sane citizens around you, is going to suddenly lash
out at you with the word "Faggot!" exploding from his or her
mouth like a machine-gun volley, and start bashing.  And nine
times out of ten, s/he'll get away with it even before a court
of law!  And please, don't apply what limited "rights" we may
have in San Francisco...they are not only light years ahead of
ninety-eight percent of the rest of this nation, but they
still remain decrees for second-class citizens.